About two weeks ago, Ebony left a comment on this blog’s What’s My Story job search forum sharing her own interview story about always being a bridesmaid and never a bride – at least when it come to job interviews. After a year of being unemployed and looking for a job, while she has made it to the finalist stage more than once, the offer just doesn’t seem to come. And now she’s got another chance.
So my unemployed anniversary is in a few days and yes it’s been rough. I am often the one of the final candidates losing out to older more experienced individuals. I finally am seeing some movement in the market and did extremely well on a first round of interviews with a very prestigious telecommunications and networking firm which it is typically very difficult to get an interview. I was just informed that once again I am one of the FINAL two candidates which was good news but I really want this opportunity and I do not want to lose out again.
My reply to Ebony offered some tips and support and also reminded her of one of the most important interview tips anyone can give you: Just be yourself. As simple as it sounds, a lot of folks miss out by trying to be someone else – someone they think the interviewer wants them to be (although you can’t ever know that for sure) – instead of just being there 100% in the moment, listening carefully, and responding naturally and conversationally…with an eye toward all they can bring to this new job.
When you are truly being yourself in an interview, you can draw on and solidly own all of your personal strengths without a thought (at least in that moment) toward what you might be missing or wish you could be instead. We each have unique gifts to offer an employer and that’s what we want to bring to the table during the job interview. But most of all, we need to let our real self shine through as naturally as possible. Let them see YOU – a real person who is resourceful, fully-present, fully-contributing and most of all someone they would enjoy working with on a daily basis. Interviews like that leave a lasting impression.
Ebony’s Interview Feedback
Speaking of lasting impressions, we’re not always privileged to get feedback from the interviewer (if only!) But Ebony did indeed get some terrific interview feedback and wrote to tell us what happened. It’s a wonderful job search story and an example of how you can give yourself the best chance of connecting and actually getting that offer!
Again, here are Ebony’s words:
Update: I had my final interview and thankfully the hiring manager was laid back and unconventional and just had an honest conversation with me to get to know me and get to know him. It was one of the best interviews because he really was trying to ensure that I really understood who he was and how he ran his group. The position is really high visibility and a great opportunity. I learned today just how competitive the field really was 273 had applied for the position! I walked out of there with him telling me I had done really great and that I would be hearing from him after he returned from vacation and that he had interviews with the other final candidates later that day. I was encouraged but cautious because this has been my story for the past year.
However Ronnie I must thank you for the “be yourself” advice because I got a call within three hours of leaving that they were moving forward with the background check and offer process. The hiring manager told me that my qualifications got me through the screening process but the fact that I was a person first and a pedigree second got me the job! Thank you thank you thank you!
Ebony
Happy to help, Ebony. But YOU did it. Congratulations! That really is what most interviewers are hoping to see: a real flesh-and-blood person (not some one-dimensional image of perfection) who knows who they are and is comfortable in their own skin. (Well…as much as possible in an interview. 
)
Now odds are just being yourself won’t get you a job you aren’t even remotely qualified for (although you never know), but still…if there is a good match to begin with, it can be the golden key that finally gets you an offer!
Best of luck, Ebony. Thank you so much for sharing your great news with us. And I also have to give a shout out to that great hiring manager. (If only they were all like that.)
More interview articles from Work Coach Cafe
25 Ways Being Yourself in an Interview Won’t Get You a Job
How to Ask for Feedback from a Job You Didn’t Get
7 Things NOT To Do in an Interview (I Didn’t Think I Had to Tell You)
18 Practical Tips to Help You Ace that Interview
The Single Most Important Thing in Any Job Interview
15 Things I Look for When I Interview People
10 Reasons You Didn’t Get the Job
How Do I Ace My Phone Interview?
Help! I Get Nervous When I Interview for a Job
10 Impressions You Leave Behind After a Job Interview
How Do You Interview If Your Interviewer Doesn’t Know as Much as You?
Ebony’s situation is rare. Most people don’t get any feedback after a job interview unless they’re getting an offer. The employer won’t take the risk, or even bother to contact you after the interview if they’re not interested in you, for whatever reason.
Is Ebony assuming the employer hired her over an older or more qualified candidate? I’d be wary working for someone like that if they actually said so. Sounds like they got her cheap and will expect more from her than long-term she will be able to deliver.
I hope everything works out. It’s easy to be tempted to accept the first job offer that comes along when you’ve been out of work for a long time, but buyer beware. They know you’re desperate and you better be sure they didn’t pick you because someone else they recently hired didn’t work out. That could create a whole set of other problems that didn’t come with the job offer. I’ve seen it happen.
Job seekers know how to be themselves during a job interview, unless of course they’re auditioning for a part in a play or movie. Tell your readers something they don’t already know.
Rekservicepro
I do agree with you that yes my situation is rare and I am extremely grateful and humbled by my experiences over this past year. I will not forget this experience and all that I have learned through this difficult time. NO I am not assuming that I was hired over an older more experienced candidate they hired me over 273 applicants and they didn’t get me “on the cheap” they got me for #20K over my minimum. My comments about me not getting chosen over older candidates was a fact. In this economy, individuals who would qualify to be my boss are out of work and in my experience during my job search I lost out to these individuals because they were now willing to accept jobs they were overqualified for in a lower pay range and you’re right when its all said and done, I wouldn’t want to work for a company like that which is why in about three instances I turned down offers by these same companies to work on the team of the chosen candidate. Do not assume that I didn’t have the pedigree or the qualifications the only reason I made it to the “Final 3″ was due to my pedigree. My personality and ability to relate to the hiring manager and distinguish myself as the BEST candidate for the position got me the offer.
I have been out of a job for a year and actually turned down six offers that were not what I was looking for hoping to get the opportunity that has been presented to me by this company. It was very important to me to find a position where my talents were appreciated, growth opportunity existed, and the company was fiscally strong.
I was so nervous because this was really THE OPPORTUNITY that I wrote to Ronnie and while she told me something “basic” and something I already knew, my nerves had me forgetting that and her advice was something that was beneficial because at the end of the day even though this was something I really wanted, in order to get it, I needed to calm down and just be myself.
I appreciate Ronnie’s site because in this year I have been driven absolutely BONKERS by inconsistent advice, conflicting opinions, and people preying on the unemployed by offering them “pie in the sky” packages to “GET that job!”. I am thankful to Ronnie because if I follow the progression of this particular opportunity it wasn’t just this ONE interview that led to the offer. The offer was due to my own perserverance but also to the advice I followed from this site:
1. I found out about the opening from LinkedIn and immediately started combing through my network to see who could get me through the screening process. My contacts ONLY helped me get in front of the recruiting coordinator as everyone has agreed to abide by the recruiting process no matter how great the candidate is. My contacts however were willing to be “employee referrals” in the recruiting software which gave me a few more points but everything helps!
2. I matched up my experience to the job description LINE by LINE adjusted my resume accordingly. I used the main headings in the job description to frame the topics I covered in my cover letter
3. The screening process was that you had to be screened to even talk to a recruiter and I knew this initial phone interview would probably focus on my interest in the position and what I knew about the company and so I did research on glassdoor.com on their phone screen process and prepared myself accordingly
4. I stayed in touch with the coordinator through the process so I knew where they were. Fortunately, and again this is rare, they are an open communication recruiting organization so I never “annoyed” them and they always responded.
5. Once I got to the first round of in person interviews I researched the interviewer’s profiles on LinkedIn and Googled as much information as I could about this particular division of the organization so I could prepare some relevant examples of my experience with this type of group
6. I also went through the typical interview questions that had caught me off guard and found some great responses here on this site and I also found some good questions to ask them as well.
Finally, we came to the hiring manager interview where Ronnie told me to be myself. This was all information listed here on this site and I’m grateful for it. Though I have always been a successful interviewee, in this particular job market I’ve suffered some blows and had become kind of tentative and didn’t want to come across as desperate as I felt my severance pay coming to end along with my qualifications for unemployment.
I hope this clarifies thing a little for you with regards to my particular situation. I know it can be frustrating and reading about other people’s good news can set off alarms but while this really was a rare situation and a blessing for me and my family, it was also something that I prepared for and this site help me do just that!
Ronnie I had no idea that you would post this but thank you again.
Laughing. That’s the most glass-half-empty comment I’ve ever gotten! A lot of assumption-jumping too. FYI I’ve interviewed tons of people and believe me…many folks think they have to to be someone else just to please the interviewer. In fact…it’s a condition of life for most people! But when the real person shines through (both in interviews and when networking), they not only have a better chance of connecting and landing the job, but they also have a better chance of finding a job they actually like.
Sorry…but if your attitude is what you’re selling, I am not buying.
~ Ronnie Ann
I’m sorry, but I don’t follow you. Laughing? about what? I’m not trying to be funny. It’s a tough market out there and the 3.5 million or so people out there can’t all be doing all the wrong things. It’s just a bad time for everyone.
It’s just a shame if people really think they should try to be someone else during an interview, it’s not even something that would cross my mind.
I agree that one’s chances are better at getting a job when they really shine in the interview AND have all the skills and qualifications.
Yet the reality is that people who know they did their best still aren’t getting jobs. All the advice out there, well-intended and helpful too, but employers aren’t buying into the job seeker’s efforts. Again, there’s just too many applicants and not enough jobs. Someone gets left out no matter what.
It’s a gamble, but it’s all they’ve got. Great advice, no guarantees. Just keep on trying, putting your best foot forward. That’s my attitude. Reality is what it is. It’s great to hear when someone finally lands, and how they did it. But results are circumstantial. Unique to that person. Timing. Great networking, etc. -all these factors that come into play at one time may or may not work the next time around or for another person. People don’t want to hear the truth when they;ve been rejected for a job they thought they were going to get. It hurts the longer you’re out of work.
I don’t sympathize when someone complains about their job and want to move on. Not in these times. Too bad. You have a job when so many others would love to be in your shoes.
This is a time for real reflection, no more taking work for granted. Working harder than you ever did before. I hope that Ebony is one of the success stories – one who comes out of this time period still smelling like a rose. Getting the job took work, now keeping it is going to be even more challenging!
Thank you for explaining more about where you’re coming from. I think being unemployed and not knowing when or even if the next job is coming is one of the hardest and world-shifting things anyone ever has to deal with. This post was simply one of my (hopefully) inspirational posts – many of my readers enjoy them. Even if it may not work for everyone, I like to share advice that for some people has proven very helpful. (All my advice comes either from my own life, from readers or from people I’ve worked with.)
In this case, I had a great uplifting comment from Ebony with, as you point out, very rare first-hand feedback – and since I have seen this work with people I know, I wanted to highlight that for the folks out there who don’t already know this is a good thing to do in interviews.
But I also have many many posts about all aspects of job search that may offer something for people who don’t need or like
this post. I write from real life experience, so I understand my articles will speak to some and not to others.
Since this was meant to be uplifting…yes…I was taken a bit by surprise. But I understand your point of view better now and again, should you feel any inclination, I have other posts that may resonate more directly with what you’re going through. Or feel free to start your own thread on What’s Your Story, our job search forum!
Thanks again for taking the time to share more. I know each person’s story speaks to someone else out there. And I know there is no way I can catch every angle that might be helpful. That’s why my readers and their experiences mean so much to me. It expands the conversation, as you just did.
Best of luck, rekservicepro!
~ Ronnie Ann
Ronnie,
My post was certainly not meant to offend anyone, and I want to thank you for using your site as a catalyst to help others in job search.
Keep up the good work!
Randi
Nice post Ronnie! The lesson I got from Ebony is that if you know yourself and your skills well, and how to link those skills with what the employer is looking for, then merge that with self confidence, and a job seeke will have no problem being himself or herself in the interview.
Know who you are and what you bring to the table!
Just an update. Ronnie, I received a job offer…FROM THE COUNTY! I am now an “official” county employee. To rekservicepro-I can read “between the lines” and know that you are discouraged. That happens to all of us. I have been working part-time at Walmart since August, and have been “officially” unemployed since June of this year. Obtaining the County position was an honor for myself, because I worked HARD at it, even though I was discouraged. I don’t know what you do for a living, but keep up to date with your skills, and showcasing them. The jobs ARE out there, it just takes a while to get something these days.
Congratulations Catherine!!!!
Hi Ebony! Thanks so much for the great caring response you gave to rekservicepro. (Sorry btw I didn’t ask you ahead of time. I thought I left a comment about this on another post, but I should have e-mailed you directly.)
Thanks also to Catherine for being so perceptive and supportive – as always. I’m SO happy for you. Boy did you ever work hard for it. I’m so proud of you. You’re the poster child for determination and self-motivation!
Thanks as always Rick. Nice summary!
And last but definitely not least…a a big hug to you rekservicepro. I’ve seen many people on this blog who feel as you do. This can be an almost impossibly frustrating and depressing process. But again and again I also see those same folks finally FINALLY find that job. I don’t mean to make it sounds like I think it’s easy – it’s not. But if you keep going no matter what the feedback and approach each one on it’s own – and yes, let them see the best parts of who you really are – you’ll get there. In the meantime we’re here for you if you need a place to share or just hang out.
~ Ronnie Ann
Ronnie
No worries! You mentioned in a reply you were posting but I didn’t know it was going to be a main post! I’m glad it sparked some commentary.
Ebs