I recently got a great comment from Angela on my I Hate Being a Boss post. She’d had it up to HERE with being a manager – and she wasn’t going to take it any more!
While browsing my stats, I often see search terms like “I hate my employees” “I hate being boss” and “I hate being manager.” And it makes me realize just how many people out there – maybe even your own boss – really hate managing people and don’t even want to be a boss!
Here’s some of what what Angela shared with us in her comment:
…the relentless hounding by 50 staff to fix endless problems and mistakes, dealing with staff shortages with ever increasing targets, performance managing lazy or incompetent people (hired inappropriately as a “quick-fix” to the staff shortages), training up staff for other sites or training those who just never stayed (there is a 40% drop-off rate in the first 12 months!)
So did even more staff make being a boss better for Angela?
Of course not. Here’s more of what she shared with us:
…After all that, when the stress was more manageable, I discovered that I could do the job, but I just didn’t want to. Everyone was shocked when I asked to be demoted and said they thought I had been doing a great job – but at what price? I don’t want this experience to make me feel incapable of taking responsibility again, I hope that it was just this particular job. But the day I resigned from that position was the happiest day I’ve had for a long time.
Congratulations to Angela on making a smart move. If it makes you happier, taking a demotion the way Angela did (or not accepting the promotion to begin with) makes total sense. We not only have to know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em…we have to know who we are and who we aren’t. While career-wise being a boss is considered something good to aim for…some of us simply don’t enjoy being boss. And if that’s really the case, it’s a good thing to discover that about ourselves.
Being the boss is not the same in all circumstances
Then again…although there are folks who truly don’t enjoy any part of managing others, for some of us it’s about finding the right situation. For those who share Angela’s feelings, maybe having a smaller staff in an organization that values its people more or where we have more control over our circumstances could also be an answer. Or maybe if the work is something we have passion for, the downside of being a manager doesn’t feel quite so down. Or maybe the answer is project-based work where at most you have a few colleagues to manage.
But not everyone has to be the big boss to be successful in their careers. There are also specialized non-managerial career paths that can provide ample personal satisfaction AND money. It’s one of the reasons I consult. 
So what about you? Do you enjoy being a boss? Have any of you found ways to get around your dislike of managing people? Any tips for folks in Angela’s shoes?
To read the original article…
Stuff About You & Your Job
Your Attitude at Work: Know Your Own Triggers
Is It Your Job or YOU That’s Driving You Crazy?
We’re Responsible for Our Own Work Relationships
7 Ways You Can Put Emotional Intelligence to Work
More about bosses
My Boss Blows His Stack Like Mount St. Helens!
Bosses from Hell: The Controlinator
My Boss Screams at Me: Is That OK?
I totally understand not wanting to be a boss, at least not in a corporate environment. I’m a terrible supervisor because I don’t like telling or asking people to do things. My solution is to work for myself. I can give myself a long to-do list and feel just fine about it.
For those of you who want to be employed but don’t want to supervise anyone, I recommend being very careful not use the word “supervise” (or any similar keyword) on your resume, if at all possible. Even if you managed a million people. Even if you’re really good at managing people (but hated doing it). You may have to list it as a job title, but don’t elaborate on your supervisory role. Doing so will market you for another job with supervisory responsibilities, which you don’t want and probably won’t be happy in.
Here’s a principle I like: Don’t put anything on your resume that you don’t want to do again.
It’s a version of: Be careful what you ask for.
Ronnie Ann, I can relate to this, personally. Although I have the capabilities to be a good manager, it’s not something I’ve ever aspired to be for all of the reasons Angela mentioned. I love my work as a career counselor and want to focus on that rather than supervising others doing the work I love. Like Susan, self-employment works well for me. As you know, I recently wrote an article called, Finding Your Career Fit, that addresses reasons why jobs don’t work out and people are unhappy. One of the reasons is “When you’re in the wrong role, and you’re heading in the wrong direction” such as moving up the management ranks but wanting to be an individual contributor. The article can be found here: Career Fit
http://onlineslangdictionary.com/definition+of/boss
Happy dancing to see you’re still here, rockin’ the work coach world, boss lady.
I’ve moved. Ch-ch-changes. Turn, turn, turn. Keep on coachin’…I’ll be around to sit, relax, and stay awhile, with fresh mocha frappechinos for two.
Great post, work coach! True, being responsible for the bottom line and all the difficult (unpopular) decisions can be tough and rough on mind, body, and spirit.
As you pointed out, there are alternative routes to a rewarding and lucrative career.
Psst… seems my WP “gravatar” shows up for my ex-Blogger account and not my WP account. ? A mystery to me. ? Hope it resolves itself.
I am in complete agreement with you, Ronnie Ann! Not everyone wants to manage, and yet it is so often revered as a sign of success.
Angela is a very self-aware person to make the decision she did. It’s so easy for us to let societal norms sway us one way or another, which can lead to making choices that don’t resonate with who we are. It would be so great if more people stood their ground on what is right for them…
Thanks so much for your terrific comments and advice everyone!
Nice tip about resume word choice Susan. As the old song says, accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. (Or at least really downplay what you don’t want to do.)
I enjoyed your article Markell. Thanks for the link on Career Fit. A topic so many of us struggle with.
Nice to see you Melissa! I second your sentiments on standing one’s ground…most of all to ourselves!
And hellooooooo Eema/Tear Drop!!! Great to see you again. It’s been way too long. And yes…weird about the gravatar, Eema/Tear Drop. I’ve had that same problem and had to go in somewhere and do something. Hope that helps!
BTW…Had just this past week been wondering about how you’re doing, and then poof! you show up. Nice magic. Oh…and thanks for the alternative boss definition. How well I remember.
Cheers all! ~ Ronnie Ann
Twice I have been put into a mid level managing position and twice it has been a diaster. Basically I am a teacher who is really good in the classroom. This has always made me a target for someone “move up.” Even when I would tell my principals That I did not want to be a principal, they don’t believe it until they see it for themselves. I think it may be because I am an introvert who likes to focus on very specific tasks and goals. However, I am feeling pretty bad about how things have turned out. I am tryng to figure out what to tell myself so that I don’t feel like I have failed. One thing I say is that it probably makes sense that I have failed at something I don’t really want to do. PS this blog has been very helpful.
Sorry for the spelling mistakes above
Sorry nia for taking so long to get back to you. I’m glad this blog has been helpful, but so sorry you’ve been put into situations you know aren’t YOU.
To me it sounds like you are starting to look at your career – including what you want and don’t want. That’s great – even if it brings up all kinds of uncomfortable feelings for the moment; we rarely look for change that might bring even better things our way if everything is perfect.
PLEASE don’t think of yourself as a failure on any level. Maybe the word “researcher” is better.
In fact, that’s the basis of true success and learning. People who NEVER look at their circumstances and never use feedback to try to come up with ways to make things better are much more likely to fail at finally getting to something they feel good about. So you’re doing the exact right thing by starting to question. Only smart people do that!
A friend of mine has a website with a free eBook called The Career Explorer’s Journal. Maybe it could give you some ideas and further insight as you explore your next steps?
While I can’t offer you better insight than you yourself will come up with, I do want to wish you MUCH luck figuring out what it is you really need. I also wish you strength in learning to believe in yourself and in finding your true voice! Funny thing is…sometimes what we find for ourselves, we get to give back as we teach the same to others. I speak from personal experience.
Sending you a big hug, nia. I have every faith that you have what is needed inside…but a hug can’t hurt.
~ Ronnie Ann
What a great site, I stumbled across it as I Googled (for venting) on “I hate being a manager.” It is indeed odd how being a manager is so revered. I have a theory, built up over the years working in the U.S. and Northern Europe, that this idolation of “management” is an unfortunate part of our English legacy in the U.S.
What I’ve seen in non-English speaking countries is that there is plenty of admiration (and pay) for those who evolve into ever more expert individual contributors. Whereas I think what’s happened in the Anglo-Saxon countries is there’s been a tradition that “the work” was always something that unlucky conquered people had to do. The Normans made the Saxons take out the trash, the English made the Welsh take out the trash, and on and on. There’s always been some subjugated group of cheap labor to be told what to do. Being the manager, the order giver, has been the ideal in Anglo Saxon culture for centuries.
I think this won’t last much longer though. Software has evolved to where skilled individuals can work as a group pretty easily, there just isn’t much time required to coordinate the group. Hopefully we’ll see more of a “team lead” approach, where one individual functions as a tie-breaker if the group can’t resolve a deadlock. This seems to be very popular in the Silicon Valley.
I love your theory, logic001! Thinking about it, makes sense culturally. And also makes sense that technology may well be the grand equalizer. Thanks for a thought-provoking comment!
So glad not to be alone! I manage nurses, and have done so for 10 years now. Granted, I have done so in 3 different organizations, but I haven’t seen the slightest bit of improvement in any of them! The HR problems drive me up the wall–drama, whining, horrible adolescent behaviors, and I keep seeing them over and over. It seems that nurses are, for the most part, high school students with big paychecks!
And it’s the same issues regardless of the people–faces and names change, but the games remain. Hospital HR septa are notoriously understaffed and full of people who end up there because they are ineffective elsewhere, and on top of it all most nurses are unionized so their behaviors must be tolerated because they are protected.
I spend hours every week dealing with tantrums, and when I don’t deal with them, my superiors want to know why.
I’m actively looking for something else. But it feels sooooo good to vent!
Glad we could help provide some venting room. Sounds incredibly frustrating.
I wish you much luck, NLC, finding a type of job you might at actually enjoy…at least most of the time.
I hate being a boss. My employees complain endlessly about shit they know I’m trying to fix. They have horrid entitlement problems. The employee I hired to manage things whines. And she hired a friend. And she also hired someone else she knew. I hate managing people.
Christina…I’m so sorry to read this. I hope you think about jobs where you don’t have to manage. If you need new skills…maybe you can get them in the meantime. Some people just hate managing. it’s why I consult.
I wish you all the best whatever you decide!