Today I had a surprise call from Italian Renaissance artist Michelangelo. Turns out he needs a new resume. Oh…I know you’re thinking “Hey…wait a minute. Hasn’t he been dead since 1564?” Well…yes. But my policy (and I think it’s a good one) is to always give clients the benefit of the doubt. And so I tried my best to help.
Still…as much as I want to help build the best resume possible for Mick (he likes me to call him that) …he has an unbelievably poor work history and exhibits seriously questionable behavior. Oh, I know he has all these amazing talents blah blah blah, but how can I hope to make him look good on a professional resume when THIS is the background info I got from him during our first meeting?
- Notorious job hopper (painter, sculptor, architect, poet, and engineer).
- Spends his work days just lying around on his back.
- Believes he’s royalty even though it’s never been proven.
- Paints himself into corners.
- Lived with a stone cutter and his wife under unexplained circumstances.
- Obsessed with painting and sculpting nude bodies.
- Lives in solitary melancholy and “monk-like chastity” (making him tough to sell to corporate employers except maybe as a techie).
- Frequently sleeps in his clothes and boots (see techie note above).
- Often covered with marble dust.
- Rumored to have violently hit the knee of Moses with a hammer, shouting, “Why don’t you speak to me?” (It’s a statue, Mick!)
- Committed fraud with a de Medici.
- Nicknamed “inventor of obscenities”.
- Has been known to carry weapons (i.e. chisel and hammer).
- Considers Lenny da Vinci (whom we all love) his arch rival.
- Insatiable publicity hound. (First Western artist to have a biography published while still alive.)
My point? When it comes to your job search, it’s all how you paint the picture.
Read more about Michelangelo at Wikipedia