I often hear from readers who have been looking for a job for months and even years. And I can’t help thinking that no matter how talented you are, when you can’t find a job and that continues far longer than you ever imagined, you start to edit your own memories of how good you are.
If no one wants you (or so it seems) then maybe they know something you don’t. At least that’s the kind of self-doubt that begins to creep in. Even normally confident people start to question their value – and wonder if they’ll EVER get a job again. (You will.)
Have I been there at some point in my own career? Absolutely. (More than once in fact. 
) And I’ll bet most of you have too.
A prolonged job search starts to eat at you. The longer you go without getting an actual offer, the harder it is to walk into that next interview brimming with self-confidence and an aura of success. And if you are feeling any of this, please just know you are not alone.
The other thing I want you to know is you are just as talented and capable and job-worthy as you were before all this began. Maybe even more so now because you’ve learned tremendous patience and how to cope with ridiculous business processes.
Job search takes time, creativity & then some more time
There IS a job out there with your name on it.
Amazingly talented people go a year or more without finding a job nowadays. Sometimes it’s about hanging in there and continuing, as an actor in a play does, to find the excitement of the moment even in your hundredth performance…er…interview. Sometimes it takes looking beyond the boundaries of our original idea as to what kind of job we’re looking for, so we open ourselves up to new contacts and fresh possibilities. (A reader just did that and I’m so proud of her for discovering a new path she hadn’t even considered before.)
I’ve included some posts below to help provide you with ideas to get those job hunt juices flowing again. And maybe to see if there are indeed job search/interview skills you need to strengthen or revisit. But there’s something even more important to work on.
What you really need to land (and keep) that job
Your strongest assets – both in job search and as an employee – are the attitude you carry with you, the energy you project, your willingness to be open to new possibilities, and your belief in yourself. So in the meantime, if you need a little booster shot:
- Think back to times in your life when you succeeded. Include any success memories since they are all about YOU. Solutions you found. People you helped. Ideas you had. Things you learned. Things you created. Friendships you’ve made. Barriers you overcame. Projects you took on and finished.
- Write down these memories – as many as possible. They are all important and, even if not at first obvious, form the basis of good job skills.
- Now ask yourself how you might successfully apply these same skills in your next job. Really let yourself think freely w/o letting doubts creep in – and if they do, boot them out and get back to the good stuff!
- And then without stopping to think any further, write yourself a free-flow paragraph or two (don’t worry about grammar or punctuation) about ALL your strengths, your talents, things you bring with you to any job, and the reason you would make a great employee and co-worker. Why you’d be great to work with, what you are willing to offer your next employer, what you’ll accomplish, etc. (If it helps, make up a job – and just let the words flow!)
- Now create a one-page takeaway using the paragraph(s) you just wrote along with your list of success memories (from the first step).
- Prescription: Take one-page booster shot as often as needed!
And whenever you do feel doubt creeping up, apart from rereading your takeaway, just remember we all go through this. Tell old Mr. Doubt you are NOT going to let him get the best of you – no matter how long it takes and how determined you have to be in finally landing that new job. And if you need to let it out…here’s an open forum I created just for this purpose:
No matter how many “nos” you get, you only need one YES…and it’s coming. It just likes to take its own sweet time getting here.
Some job search articles to help:
7 Career Pros Talk Job Search 2.0
15 Job Search Tips from a Guy Who Just Got a Job
Job Search: The Simplest Job Networking Tip of All
10 Things I Learned in My 3 Month Job Search
How Joe’s HR Friend Got His Job Search Going Again
5 Things to Ask Yourself If Your Job Search Screeches to a Halt
7 Ways to Rev Up Your Recession Job Search
Don’t Let a Whiner’s Club Attitude Screw Up Your Interview Chances!
And to help you stay sane:
Stuck in the Waiting Game After 2nd Interview
One of the most overlooked aspects of losing your job is the mental one. Being out of work for months is devastating. My company is laying off an average of 75 people every quarter so I have witnessed a lot of unemployment lately. Some people never saw it coming and don’t even have a resume prepared. Others were somewhat prepared and have a solid skill set but are holding out for their dream job as the months go by. I figure it’s going to take a while to replace a good job so go out and get a contract or temp job while you search. This is especially true in IT where a 3-month contract can pay really well. It’s really difficult to get quality candidates for a 3-month gig so the pay rate usually reflects it. I’m interviewing aggressively now and have some great leads from former co-workers who were laid
Off. Sadly, most people have their heads buried in the sand hoping it won’t be them. I say hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
Ba…I am with you! having worked in IT for many years, I see the wisdom in your words. And while dream jobs are great, sometimes you can find them with those little 3-month gigs. At the university I worked in, we had 3-month contracts turn into many years! I wish you much luck with your networking. Sounds like you’re doing what you need. Good luck, Ba!!
~ Ronnie Ann
I’ve been there Ronnie, and the longer you’re out of work, the harder it is on your psyche, especially your confidence. In one instance, right after I was laid off, I received a note from someone who knew my work. He said I was too talented to have been let go. I tacked up the note on my fridge and read it every day. That, at least, helped keep my spirits up.
The lesson? If you find something – anything – that can motivate you in those dark hours and days, lean on it!
Thanks Rick. Nicely said…as always.
I like the fridge idea. Great place for whatever speaks to us when we need an ego boost. I sometimes tape words that speak to me on my walls. And a someone I know uses the bathroom mirror. Maybe one day we’ll have contact lenses with inspirational messages only we can see. 
Thanks for stopping by!
~ Ronnie Ann
Volunteer to keep your skills current. Doing so will interrupt any loss of confidence that you might be experiencing, let you meet new people, and almost inevitably return more to you in more ways than you can imagine.
Beautifully written post, Ronnie Ann! It’s a message that job seekers need to hear because it is so easy to succumb to all the negative tapes playing in your head.
I would add “Join a job club” to this list of things a job seeker should do to bolster his/her attitude. The kind of support that is received is such a benefit and can really sustain a person during the dark times.
Ronnie Ann, I so seriously want to print this and tape it to my wall…so the next time I come across a client feeling the same, I can share some of the wonderful advice you have so beautifully laid out here!
Sometimes no matter how much encouragement we give others, until we find ourselves in the same (jobless) shoes, it really is hard to comprehend the kind of turmoil and helplessness a lot of our “still looking” candidates are feeling. But I agree…we should be our one true cheerleader, unwavering and full of hope that the job they are looking for will be within their reach someday.
Don’t give up, job seekers!
Karen, The Resume Chick (on Google or Twitter for questions, comments or violent reactions)
Thanks so much Donna, Melissa and Karen! Sometimes I leave things out of a post just for the sake of (attempted) brevity, but your advice and words of wisdom help round out the conversation very nicely. Much appreciated.
~ Ronnie Ann
Dear Ronnie. This is the first time Iam visiting you. What a wonderful surprise to find your articles,your stories and advice as well. Sometimes, you if allow me, I’m going to stop by to check upon the news and so precious information. Tks a lot.
Ronnie Ann,
Very well said — great pick-me-up ideas (that operate on both the personal and the professional levels, which get ever-more entwined the longer the period of unemployment goes on, I feel).
2 quick thoughts:
1. The most positive thought that kept me going during my 2 years of unemployment was your very last line: “it only takes one ‘yes’”!
2. After a lengthy period of unemployment, once you start working again, it is going to take time to “get your footing” again (mentally, emotionally, and otherwise). I’d say it took me almost a full year to “come back to life” fully after 2 years out of work. Remember not to be overly hard on yourself when getting back to work: renewing the mind, heart, and spirit takes time.
This is such a great post, Ronnie Ann, with great comments!
If you’ve been working in an environment that is failing, like a company in bankruptcy or the death spiral of down-sizing, you’ve probably lost confidence even before you lose your job. I know – that happened to me!
Your pick-me-ups are great ideas! GL Hoffman wrote some excellent ones on Job-Hunt in July, too.
The bottom line is that this kind of feeling and this kind of thinking is SO self-defeating and so hard to fight in a tough job market.
Loved Donna’s suggestion about volunteering! Volunteering helps with “resume management,” networking, and keeping your spirits up.
And Michael is absolutely right about “recovering” – you need to do it to regain your confidence, and it takes time.
Hi Cleo! Thank you so much for your lovely comment. You are of course welcome any time. And if you have any questions or advice to share with others…please do! This blog is here mostly for support and to remind people there is light at the end of the tunnel – and every now and then help provide a flashlight.
Best of luck!
Great reminder Michael! So true. I love your words “Remember not to be overly hard on yourself when getting back to work: renewing the mind, heart, and spirit takes time.” Yes!!!
So nice of you to drop by Susan! Like you, I’ve been there myself. More than once in fact.
For anyone who doesn’t know Susan Joyce, she runs a GREAT job resource site called Job-Hunt.
Thanks Susan for reinforcing some of the great suggestions for keeping our spirits up and our job-hunt energy high!! I know you also wanted to mention Melissa’s point about joining a job club. And I’ll just finish by repeating Karen’s words, however long it takes and whatever job you might need to take in the interim: “Don’t give up, job seekers!”
~ Ronnie Ann
Hi Ronnie thanks for the positive note, I have been unemployed now for 12 months, 12 long months, been for interview upon interview, various testing after the interviews and still nothing. Its at the point of total desperation and right now all I want to do is cry, went for an interview a second one again, was told more testing would be done, now get told no outcome now the one person has gone overseas yet in the interview nothing was mentioned. It was mentioned that its reaching month end and that they still interviewing should I make it through this one that there would be assesment tests….
Maybe I didnt make it and the overseas thing is just a way to say no, im so tired of this
I was a credit manager and a good one to, now to a mom who has no idea how to meet monthly obligations I feel so frustrated and now resulting to tears
I had been unemployed for a little bit over a year now.
I am going through the same thing as you.
The incredible heavy feeling of the pressure to get a job during an interview is sometimes too much to bear.
Everything seems to be depending on the outcome of each interview. My future and my family’s livelyhood.
The torment of thinking whether you will get a second interview or whether you got the job or not is incapacitating.
But I think there is hope as long as you believe in yourself and to never ever give up no matter how hopeless the situation may look to you.
Learn to manage the disappointments in your life. Never ever give up.
Failure sets you up for your next success.
Nicely said Robert! What a great attitude. I wish you a huge success in the near future. thanks for offering words of encouragement to other readers.
I wish you much luck!
~ Ronnie Ann
Adeline: My heart goes out to you. I can well understand why it feels like too much…job hunts are ridiculously unfair because you get so little feedback and it looks like nothing is happening until something actually happens. That’s maddening!
I really don’t know what I can say to help your search other than what I’ve said in various articles on this blog. Just remember jobs do happen even when we see nothing ahead as long as we keep the search going. It may be time to shake things up by doing a 2-per-week networking challenge.
What’s that? Find TWO new people to call or e-mail each week – old friends, former colleagues, former teachers, relatives, names you find in the news – and let them know what you are looking for and ask if they know of a job or a name to contact.
And don’t be afraid to stretch your skills into something else (see: transferable skills) you never considered before! I’ve done it many times and one thing leads to another even if at first it may not be the perfect fit.
Best of luck, Adeline. Something good is out there with your name on it!
~ Ronnie Ann
the saying that I keep my daughter going with is everytime you get a no it takes you closer to a yes!
Not sure where all this optimism is coming from. If you are always up against 800 other applicants YOU WILL NEVER WIN. PERIOD.
And we will always be up against 800 other applicants.
@Pigbitin Mad
Yes – [Content Edited by Work Coach Cafe Team] 2 master degrees, 20K student debt and no income…
It is a harsh rat race with psychopaths in managerial positions and the rest who can’t care less if you have money to feed yourself or where will you live if you can’t pay your rent any longer.
Ontario Works workers are a cruel joke – young inexperienced kids deciding your life. Less than 600$ a month to pay rent, food, medical, dental and any other expenses. And yes – they will deduct any extra money you made selling your used books on Amazon for example.
[Content edited by Work Coach Cafe Team]
I had a time when nothing I did got me closer to a job. Money was gone. Got sick and could barely work even if I got an offer. And when I did get an actual interview, I could watch myself go through the motions but i wasn’t the person I used to be. I was angry. I was broke. I was scared. I was depressed. And I couldn’t see any way out – nor did I care much any more.
Not even sure how it happend, but old friend offered me a job – way below my experience – and even though it meant moving and very little money, I went. I figured I wasn’t going to let the system break me. And the new manager treated me like crap. But somehow I kept going and finally got to another job in the same company and it was like I was able to breathe again. I had my life back. Can’t tell you it’s been all smooth…but there are plenty of good days now.
Don’t really expect that to help. Just want you to know you’re not alone. And that your words touched me. My prayers go out for you.
Awesome post!
Getting up everyday to peruse a million job sites, writing a cover letter for each job, tweaking your C.V., and networking is a job.
Amen! Love your blog.
Hi Ronnie,
I took a job in HR management consultancy firm. Our team looked after the compensation and benefits. I had just joined the firm when I found out that it wasn’t entirely a Finance department. Since I wanted to work in financial arena, I quit my job and attempted for CFA Level 1 to further enhance my financial education. I haven’t since, got any job offer although I have given interviews but in vain.
Please help me. Most people tell me that I fail in interview because of my lack in communication skills. Also I am scared of meeting new people although I have achieved targets in my previous employment. Delegated work to my subordinates.
How am I suppose to go about it.
Thankyou
Hi Asra!
I’m so sorry you are going through this, but not sure how I can help from this distance. There are so many factors involved that comments on a blog just can’t go into.
Is there a job/career coach available to you in your area, either through government or privately? Sometimes a few sessions can make all the difference, since they can identify and help you address things I could never know!
You may also find useful tips in some of my previous articles. Start here and follow the links:
Do You Get Nervous About Being Nervous During an Interview?
Good luck!