Work Coach Cafe

This is post number 2 in my three-part “Joe Series”.

We first met Joe yesterday in my June 1, 2009 post. Out of work. Money running low. Months passing without a job in sight. A very scary time. He’d always gotten work so easily. But not this time. And it wasn’t an easy thing for him to make sense of.  Wanting to help others in the same situation, he offered us some great first-hand advice.

We continued our discussion via e-mail and I’d like to share more of his thoughts about how even a talented, otherwise confident person can get thrown for a loop by a prolonged period of unemployment. Something all too many people are unfortunately going through right now.  But there is hope!

Here’s what Joe told me:

Despite the tone of my original comment, I’m not a happy-go-lucky, always-see-the-bright-side type of person. However, I am very analytical and always review decisions after they’ve played out. What bothers me most is that I wasted 5 months of my life being miserable. While I am happier now in my new job than I was in my previous position, I missed a lot of opportunities to improve myself and my life.

So much more I could have done while waiting for that new job

I didn’t volunteer anywhere. I didn’t teach myself any new skills I lack that employers were seeking. I didn’t do much of anything but feel sorry for myself. But not hitting the gym hard bothers me the most.

The thing I rarely hear anyone acknowledge about being unemployed during this crisis is how damn scary it can be. The somewhat unique thing about these times is that professional people who carefully managed their careers are now out of work for months at a time. When you work on an assembly line, it’s almost expected that you’ll be laid off or at least furloughed at some point. But IT geeks or business analysts? They would have laughed at you if you told them they would be suddenly laid off and then struggle to find another gig.

I never realized how big a role work played in my life

The social effects of losing my job was something else I wasn’t prepared for at all. It never occurred to me that about 90% of my social life was directly related to my job. My previous job was very social and every day I had lunch with co-workers or a vendor. Almost overnight I was spending the entire day by myself.

When friends did invite me out, I was a little nervous about spending any money. I would go so far as to say this was about the worst aspect of my 5 month journey. I spent a lot of time with my family (I was that lonely!) and tried to get out of the house as much as possible. I would go to a coffee or sandwich shop with free wireless access to search for jobs. I would take 4-day weekends, visit my siblings in neighboring states and hang out with their kids. I did anything to break up the monotony.

I agree with the sloth concept when times get tough, but there needs to be a limit (at least for me). I’m a big proponent of grieving for a loss, whether it be a job, spouse, large sum of money, etc. Take a few days or a week and sleep all day, cry, overeat, get drunk, whatever works for you. However, at some point you need to shake out of it and start moving forward (especially if you chose getting drunk).

When you lose your job it’s time to get real with your money

If I could only give one piece of advice to someone that just lost their job it would be hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. It’s time to get real. Make decisions as if you’re going to be unemployed for 6 months – just in case you are.

Can you afford COBRA? Can you squeeze in a dental check-up before your benefits end? Are your prescriptions on the $4 list at Walmart? Can you temporarily suspend any payments like student loans or loans from family members? Can you still afford to take the family to the beach this summer?

It sounds sort of geeky but I had an actual timeline on paper with important dates: cutoff to sign up for COBRA, payments due from unemployment, large bills due (bi-annual car insurance) and I started using Mint to track my accounts so I always new where I stood. I placed ads on Craigslist and sold some stuff. I fixed some small problems with my house in case I needed to sell it.

I’ll admit the first month or two I stuck my head in the sand, but then I got focused. The scariest question to ask yourself is what happens if your money runs out and you’re still unemployed?

Thanks again Joe! Great questions and a very realistic approach to a tough situation. Not to scare anyone silly, but periods of unemployment can sometimes last much longer than we’d like them to. It’s important to get a firm handle on your finances and plan for a variety of possibilities depending on your own situation and how long you can hold out without money coming in.

So what do you do if that job in your field doesn’t come along?

Besides facing your finances head on, this is the time to start thinking about contingency work just in case – while of course still giving your full-time attention to getting the real job. For some people with ample savings, they have time before thinking about a fall-back position. But for many others, fall-back may be just around the corner. If you’re being honest with yourself and see your money start to run short, look for part-time or temp work. Don’t be too proud to go there. I’ve done temp reception work when I already had my MBA. And it never hurt me – in fact, it led to some interesting possibilities!

For me, it’s much worse to leave yourself feeling helpless. I felt stronger answering phones for a paycheck than I did sitting at home waiting like a victim for the silent phone to ring. The trick is knowing in your heart who you are and remembering how much you have to offer no matter what you’re doing in the meantime to pay the rent. For me – and I bet for most people – it’s a lot less scary earning our own way than to have no money and be forced to crawl to family or friends (should we be lucky enough to have that option).

And don’t forget volunteer work. Not only is it good for your spirits and a great thing for the place you volunteer, but employers like to see you’ve made good use of your out of work time.  And don’t kid yourself…the way you feel about yourself also shows in interviews.  Plus it tells the interviewer a little about who you are and how you approach tough times.

Joe is right. Being out of work is scary. But just as he found out, if you can get past the fear and make your job hunt into a full-time job – making sure you arm yourself with the very best hunting tools – you’ll get a job you can feel good about.

Good luck getting there!

Ronnie Ann

Tomorrow I’ll be posting the third and final post of the “Joe Series”. In this next one, Joe shares great tips his friend in HR gave him that helped him finally get his new job.

Other posts in the “Joe Series”:

How NOT to Waste Time While Looking for a Job (1st post)

Good to Have a Friend in HR Tell It to You Straight! (3rd and final post)

Related Work Coach Cafe posts:

If you do wind up in a job you don’t exactly feel great about:

20 Tips to Help Move Your Career Ahead

Other posts you might find helpful:

15 Things I Look for When I Interview People

10 Things I Look for When I Screen Resumes

12 Ways to Jump Start that “Impossible” Job Search

How a New Resume and Cover Letter Got Her the Job Interview!

Make Job Hunting a Daily Job. Oh How It Pays Off!