Interview doldrums got you down? Didn’t get the job offer you wanted? Got the bad interview blues? Does “I didn’t get the job” feel like your new mantra?
Although I wish with all my heart you would get the job offer you want every time you interview and then be the one who gets to decide whether to accept the job or not, sometimes you just didn’t get the job offer – even if you’re totally qualified. Instead, you got a polite turn down or a cool rejection letter…or worse yet, you heard nothing back from them. Waiting. Waiting some more. In deep silence. No phone call. No e-mail. No rejection letter. No response at all. Crickets chirping. Grrrr.
And you can’t help wondering “Why don’t they like me? What did I do wrong in my interview? Why didn’t I get an offer even after a really good interview?” And it hurts. You feel utterly frustrated by the whole hiring process!
But apart from just not having the right skills or there being someone so exactly suited to the job even a perfect candidate like you has to be turned down, what kinds of things might have gotten in the way of a job offer or even a second interview? Let’s see if these tips can help you with your next interview!
Things that can turn a job interview cold – and get you rejected!
- Low energy
- Vague answers
- Way too talkative or way too quiet
- Not listening well and instead answering what you feel like saying
- Not offering strong examples of things you’ve done well
- Arriving late
- Dressing inappropriately
- Acting unprofessionally and/or overly friendly
- Poor eye contact or body language (too stiff, too shlumpy)
- You act the way you think they’d want you to and aren’t being yourself
Any of this sound familiar? Good news is you can work on any or all of these things and come to the next interview prepared with your best interview posture, good eye contact, fully-engaged energy, great stories about things you’ve made happen, etc.
Of course, there’s also the possibility it wasn’t a bad interview after all. Maybe they simply hired someone else from the company they already knew and the posting was just protocol. Or there just wasn’t any chemistry. This happens sometimes. In either of these particular cases (other than staying in touch) there’s really nothing you can do; you just need to put this behind you and move on. As in a dating relationship, when it’s not right, best to let it go and look for one that works.
An interview is never over until it’s over
One note: Even if you get the feeling the interview is going south or was never a real interview to begin with, you still want to give your strongest, most naturally likable interview no matter what. Don’t decide to reject them before they reject you.
Why? Because there may be someone you meet during the process who remembers you for another time. In fact, I just recommended someone I met a year ago who was wrong for that job but may be exactly right for the position they’re looking to fill now. It always pays to turn on your best interview charm until you are out the door – and out of the building. Remember…each person you meet counts. Even impressions made on receptionists or doormen matter!
Whether it’s a job interview or anything else – all you can do is your best
If you don’t get the job, it just wasn’t meant to be – at least not this time. Use each rejection as a chance to redouble your determination to get the next one. Or the one after that. Your job is coming.
But…if you aren’t sure you’re interviewing at the top of your game, this is definitely a chance to brush up your resume (may open up different types of jobs) as well as your interview skills. For interview help, you might find these earlier posts helpful:
15 Things I Look for When I Interview People
The Single Most Important Thing in Any Job Interview
Good luck! Hope you find a job you love.
~ Ronnie Ann
Do you have any stories about your own interviews? Did you ever feel the room go cold?
Hi again,
I still struggle to find work and I have just returned from one of the most bizarre interview, I’ve ever had. I just don’t know what to think. When I got to the place, the perspective coworker didn’t even let me sit down and wanted to see my portfolio without even talking first, that made me very anxious, (I have been looking for more then 3 years now and I get to this stage pretty quick, I don’t have much self esteem and confidence left after hundreds of turn downs) I was very shaky I knew it was not a good start, but this was the better part actually.
Then I met the CEO and he started telling me very personal stories about his divorce and just being bitter about his past in general, then I mentioned a competitor and he said that he worked for them, and expressed that the president of the company is a f…. Philipino prick. He was using the f and s words a lot
Do these people think I am a joke and disrespect me? I am very confused. This was probably the worse experience yet to date, should I even bother sending a thank you note?
I feel like crying right now…
P.S.
Oh btw it’s a $10.00 per hour job doing very advanced computer stuff.
I’m so sorry, Eva. That must have been awfully unsettling!
Whether you send the note is of course up to you. You’ve been out of work a long time and I certainly wouldn’t dream of suggesting the right move. But at least you have been shown what the place and people are like. If they do get back to you, you can decide then if you want to give it a try.
On a personal note…I’ve worked for a couple of folks who were on the surface bizarre, and one turned out to be great and the other really awful. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s a crap shoot. But if someone is all about anger and blames everyone else for his misery, that’s a pretty good clue as to how he treats employees.
Meanwhile, I want you to please sit down and remind yourself of every strength and talent you have. Truly wonderful people are having trouble finding jobs now. Don’t start to doubt yourself and all you have to offer!
Here’s something I hope will help a little:
When you can’t find a job…do you forget how good you are?
I wish you the best of luck finding a good job, Eva!
Thank you so much Ronnie Ann!
I know times are very difficult for many people. There are always some opportunities….and still I get those “lucky” calls for interviews once in a while
Eva
Hi Ronnie Ann,
I just had an interview. The interview went well. I answered all their questions and also asked some questions in a positive, enthusiastic and constructive manner. I was told by a friend who works at the company that I have been shortlisted, but they told her that I came across as having “Low Energy” and no enthusiasm!!!Not sure what to do with this feedback. Should I be more enthusiastic and put on a “happy go lucky” persona during interviews. Guess I have one of those faces as most of my friends did tell me that I have a sad face
Hi Blue fairy!
Wow. That’s interesting feedback for sure: “I came across as having “Low Energy” and no enthusiasm!!!”
I wouldn’t advise you to be unnatural in an interview. That can fall flat too. But maybe you could do a bunch of practice runs in front of a camera and watch yourself? Or listen to your voice on a recording device. Or simply ask a friend to help you do practice interviews, and try various ways to get your energy up.
For some people doing jumping jacks or some kind of exercise ahead of time gets the juices flowing. For others, simply remembering to eat a good balanced meal with ample protein beforehand helps with energy.
And maybe you could simply spend some time (now would be good) going through all the reasons you really want the job (assuming you do) and seeing good things that might come of it for you. Let yourself dream of a positive future! And also remind yourself of all the things you’ve done in the past where you made things happen you’re proud of – at work or anywhere – so you truly believe in yourself. The most natural enthusiasm is real.
Finally, your name blue fairy makes me wonder if you are depressed a little? Normal in job search, of course. If so, maybe it would help to talk to someone about it. I’ve also been told acupuncture can possibly help with that, if that’s something you are open to.
Hope that was ok to add.
And, at the very least, practice smiling more. There are studies that say simply smiling more helps boost your spirits – even if at first you don’t fully feel the urge to smile. Worth a shot.
I wish you much luck!
Hi Ronnie Ann,
Thanks so much for your support. My apologies for delayed response. I feel so much better now. I especially liked your advise on smiling even when you don’t feel the urge to..
As for the name it was the first thing that struck me while writing to you in a pretty depressed state of mind
Hoping to do my best in the next interview !
I have my fingers crossed for you. I have a strong sense that you are someone an employer would love to have working for them. Full steam ahead, grrl. Good luck!!
Every interview I go on seems to be a good interview and I meet all the requirements,I’m dressed nice with positive attitude,direct eye contact yet I’m turned down. What am I doing wrong?
I’m so sorry you’re not getting any offers yet, Joe. Sometimes you do everything right and you don’t get the offer. Here’s another article that talks a little about that:
The Single Most Important Thing in Any Job Interview
Please also read some of the other articles on this blog and others about how to get the offer. You’ll find some here. Sometimes it’s just the right fit and takes time, but you may find one or two tips that bring it home.
Best of luck!
thank you for this tips im living in dubai now and since 2 years i started too find another job i have done 5 interviews and it”s failed at all i ding so many courses 2 be ready in the interview time but when i rich there i feel so confused and Scattered mentally
so if u can help i will appreciate it from so much thax
Hi mulham rifai!
Nice to get a visitor from Dubai. There are a lot of articles on this site about how to deal with interview nerves and tips for giving a good interview. You can find some of the articles here: Career Topics
Another key is making sure that you’re finding jobs that match your strengths. You can increase your chances by matching your resume and cover letter to each job using your real experience but making sure to word it and emphasize it so that the match is obvious – this way you are already a candidate with a better chance of fitting in.
I wish you much luck!
I went on this really great interview and at the end I was thanked for my time and interest and then I was told that they would be in touch with me. I have ten years of experience with this particular job and I did very well on the audition. I’m just puzzled on the part where I was told that they would get in touch with me. Can somone help me with this please?
Hi muffin34!
I’m not sure I understand your question. Telling a candidate they will get in touch with them simply mean that they will let the candidate know one way or another. It’s simply something many interviewers say, but doesn’t tell whether or not you are at the top of their list. It just means they are telling you nothing except that when they decide, they’ll let you know.
But of course, i hope the next time you hear from them it’s good news. Best of luck!
Hi,
I had been out of work for approximately 2 years and had over 40 interviews and filled out 100′s of online applications; it was a living hell and I was thoroughly depress. Over time, I did lose self-esteem and was very discouraged and started doing poorly in interviews because I was not sure of my answers and was very nervous. Fortunately, an old employer hired be back after 10 years; I was very gracious, but only felt it was a favor. I wish someone had hired me because they wanted me for my experience, education, or saw me as being a good fit for their firm. But, it never happened. I used to interview very well when I was in my 20′s and 30′s; (in my 40′s now), but over time, I lost the ability to sell myself. I recently interviewed for an in-house position at my current job, but was not offered the position. I didn’t want to ask for feedback. However, the position reopened and the position was offered to me. I had to ask why. I was told that they really wanted me for the position the first time, but I did not interview well, therefore, they had to offer it to the person who interviewed superiorly. I felt so rejected and judged, but I understood.
This gave me the opportunity to get detailed feedback about my interview. We talked about approximately one hour. I was told that l lacked enthusiasm and interest; I shrugged after giving a vague answer, and did not elaborate on why I wanted the position. To hear these things was harsh to the ego, but I was glad to get the feedback. This also gave me the opportunity to explain to them on what I went through for 2 years and possibly why I displayed that type of behavior during the interview. Luckily, they understood.
Unfortunately, most people won’t get this opportunity. They even offered to do mock interviews with me and suggested I look at videos and online information to enhance my chances of being my old self again when interviewing. I am not that 20-something year old kid, who was once sharp as a whistle, but I will try my best to get my spunk back, but it’s very hard. I am still mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained. And at times, it shows, even in interviews.
I read some your suggestions. I will try to eat healthier, and maybe exercise or move around a bit before an interview.
Hi Teesoup!
What a wonderful comment! Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I hope you will believe me when I tell you lots of talented people don’t interview well. I used to hire people, and I too gave coaching either during or after the interview. You were very lucky to get such thorough and useful feedback.
But here’s some more…and please be prepared to be complimented: no one hires a person just out of pity. They have to be good, too. So please don’t go to that place where you think you aren’t good enough. Something about you – I even feel it in your words – is very special. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have given you the first or second position.
Sadly, I’ve seen a lot of people who interview well and are not so good at their job. Since you have the first part, now we just need to beef up the second. There is an old joke about a person visiting New York City who asks how to get to the famous place of great music called Carnegie Hall. The response is “Practice. Practice. Practice.”
I give you that same advice for interviews. Practice with friends, in a mirror and even on video if you can. The main thing is to just listen and be there in the moment, answering questions and showing full interest and enthusiasm. Just be yourself..even if there are a little nerves, connecting with the interviewer while being fully present and engaged is what really matters. And make sure you point out whenever possible where your skills match the new job.
And before you do any of that, I want you to try a reframe. Go back through your life – work and otherwise – and write down everything you ever did well, every person you helped, every project you got complimented on, every problem you solved even if no one knew…and really see the glass is half full part, ok? After so much negative feedback, job seekers start to forget. This is a great way to be reminded.
Best of luck with your career! And thank you again for sharing some important things that will help others. (Please add that to your list.
)
I thought I had this job in the bag. I had applied with this company (no job in particular, just submitted my resume) and two weeks later had a phone interview with the recruiter, and it went extremely well. A month later I get a call from the recruiter saying a job was opening up and was to be posted that day, and want to know if I was interested. We agreed it was a good position and the next day I had an initial interview with the hiring manager. That interview went well and at end of the initial interview, we scheduled another interview for the next week, a more in depth interview. Again that interview went well, and immediately moved onto the next round. The recruiter called me a couple days to schedule two more interviews with members from other department that work with the position. Those interviews again went well by the recruiters words. I sent an e-mail thanking everyone and received a prompt response from the hiring manager. A couple of days ago I get a phone call from the hiring manager saying they decided to hire another more qualified candidate. The time the job was opened to hiring was 3 weeks.
I’m currently employed, but looking for a better, high paying postion. I’m 28, training manager and this was for an implementation consultant position. This company is larger and pay is more significant, as well as a remote position. The industry is the same, and sometimes the company I am currently employed with competes directly with the company I applied for (maybe 10-20% of the time). I’m have not signed a “non-compete” clause so I can go anywhere. In some on my answers I was rather vague as to not give away current policies and procedures from my current job or inform them of any clients. Other than my lack of experience they want (7-10) I only have 3 years in the field, and another 2 in a field complimentary the position I lack the years experience they want. I have met all the job skills, and education requirements. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me. Only thing I can think of is actual years worked, or they are actually looking for things they didn’t put on the job description. I feel I interview well, and obviously my resume is effective (I have only sent it out to 3 and got 2 interviews). I have overstated in my resume, or inflated my qualifications. I don’t know why I can’t close the deal.
A little more information. When asked why I wanted the position I replied that my desire was to work remotely and travel intensely, both of which I do not have at my current job, however other than that I enjoy my position, the company, and the industry.
Hi AITY!
Unfortunately this is a market where if they want a person with one green eye and one purple one they can probably find them. So while you may actually be giving good interviews and impressing the other companies, they may simply be finding more seasoned candidates willing to work for less-seasoned wages.
Not to say you won’t find a new job – especially since you’ve been getting great responses – but it may take a while to hit the right combo of chemistry and fit. A good job match can take many months to find. My best advice is to keep going if that’s what you want – but maybe think ahead why you want this new job — “work remotely and travel intensely” may sound a little like someone who doesn’t want to be in the workplace and will be bored easily, especially since some consulting jobs can last years. I’ve worked with (and managed) IT implementation consultants who almost made a home at our company.
There might be a different way to phrase your answer related to challenge and subject matter – or simply wanting to take on more responsibility. Or even better something special about the company that you found in your research or some unique thing about the new job itself that you especially connect to.
Speaking of taking on more responsibility…just a reminder to make sure you’ve exhausted the opportunities where you are now. Always good to think about how you can make things happen for yourself where you are. Coming up with new ways to improve processes or keeping your ear to the ground (and internal networking) can sometimes tell you about opportunities that might get your juices flowing again.
Please be patient. And remember an interview is always about them…and about how you are perfect for them. Best of luck!
Update.
So I finally found a new job and have been there two months now. Almost same position as I applied for responsiblity wise though different title.
I applied for this job a couple of weeks after I commented on this blog. I approached the interview exactly the same way I approached the other position, but they were so impressed they flew me in for an interview and after I got the job paid for my relocation. (this isn’t a work from home).
Guess they were looking for hazel eyes at this job
James,
Congratulations on the job and please direct job seekers who may need Work Coach Cafe to the site.
It is funny how the same approach can have dramatically different results, isn’t it?
Good luck to you.
Chandlee
HI, I have been on 10 interviews and have not landed a single job. I have managed to make all the interviewees have a bit of a laugh and there seemed to be real chemistry between us and have been ablt to answer all the questions happily. I was told by the recent interviewee that I seem to be a very “bubbly person” and “exactly what they like personality wise” but yet still zilch! Am I taking my approach too casually towards an interview? or Just not cutting it?
Hi Krys,
I’m sorry to hear things aren’t going better for you, but having 10 interviews is excellent! Many people are still waiting for their first interview opportunity.
So your approach, your network, and/or your resume are getting you interviews. Perhaps there is something wrong with your interviewing methods? Without observing you “in action” I can’t tell, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to be well-prepared for these interviews and NOT treat them casually at all!
Focus on giving solid answers to their questios, not on making them laugh.
In addition to the articles about Job Interviewing here on WorkCoachCafe, here are some other articles that might help you:
* Lots of interviews but no offers? – by Harry Urschel
* Preparing for interview success – also by Harry Urschel
* Job Interviewing – a whole series of articles by Laura DeCarlo
* Free eBook – Successful Job Interviewing – by recruiter Jeff Lipschultz
Good luck with that next interview!
Susan
I have been on a few job interviews and have had some wild experiences. Sometimes I feel like it is the person doing the interview that is the problem. I went on one interview and before I could sit down, the recruiter told me that they usually only hire people with legal experience. I was there for an in house position and she wanted to interview me because she liked my resume. Then she proceeded to ask me how old I was. When I told her I was 31 she was like, “WOW! OH MY GOD! Not that there is anything wrong with that.” She was maybe 25-years-old. I knew right away that she was not going to hire me. Right after the interview, she got in the elevator with me and brought along a new hire. They were on their way to find lemonade. How sweet! When I suggested Starbucks, the new hire says, “Oh, I wish i worked for Starbucks.” Really? Really? As far as the legal experience goes, I mentioned to her that I was planning on pursuing a paralegal degree and would be able to catch on to the legal jargon. The job I was there for was emailing and calling employers to see if they had any job openings. Gee, how hard is that? I believe that sometimes the people who conduct interviews and find themselves sitting across from an experienced person, they get intimidated and feel that you might be better at your job than they are. If you come across as really wanting the job, this puts the hiring manager into God complex mode. They are now in charge over whether or not you get your dream job. I feel like employers do not think about the person who is reading resumes and conducting interviews. I think that not all places have hiring managers or HR departments and they just tap the one that has the time to find employees. In between trips to the bathroom and lemonade runs, this person may open a few resumes and make phone calls. Don’t feel bad about yourself if you don’t find a job. You are a valuable person whose life has meaning and nobody can take that away from you. If all else fails, do the extreme and stand outside with your resume on a sign and see who hires you. That is my next step.
Thanks for sharing your experiences and observations with us. You bring up some interesting points, though I don’t agree that “if you come across as really wanting the job, this puts the hiring manager in “God complex mode.” I think — instead — it shows the employer you’d be interested in accepting the job if offered.
It’s easy to get disillusioned in the hiring process, but I think there are also a lot of people who do pay attention in the hiring process — from reading resumes and asking interview questions to also questioning, “are we hiring people for this position for the right reason?” The challenge is that — all too frequently — job seekers and employers come to the interviewing process from a different place. Employers look at candidates from the standpoint of how does this person’s skills and experience fit this job. And Candidates all too often look at the job and say “I really want this job” — even if it doesn’t actually align with their interests or skills. It’s like watching the Bachelor — ever wonder why so many engagements don’t work out? It’s because there’s only one person that gives the roses — you’re supposed to like the person who is on the show if you want a ring — even if they aren’t the right person for you.
Sounds like you’ve met some people you would never want to work for. Pay attention to that.
Best,
Chandlee
P.S. It’s illegal for employers to ask on a job interview, “How old are you?” Next time you are asked, evade the question and gently share the issue with the company later if you feel it’s important to do that.
I also want to point out how many job ads I see that are so ridiculous and have typos and misspellings. If employers expect people to have good reading and writing skills paired with excellent grammar, then their ad should be as well. I see so many posts with generic job descriptions and typos. One job post I saw wanted someone with goo grammmer. No joke! Don’t even go there and chalk a mistake up to, they were in a rush! If we are judged by our mistakes, then employers should be as well. Another ad I saw was for an office assistant at a production company. This person had to be on call 24/7 and must be okay with preparing lunch for their busy staff of award winning documentary filmmakers(they don’t tell you which documentary.) This person also had to be okay with feeding people their lunches if they were too busy. I’m not kidding about this ad. Oh and the best part was, in bold letters on the bottom, UN-PAID POSITION!!!!! And what is up with job ads requesting recent photos? If that doesn’t scream out, “We will only hire you if you are super good looking!” Then I don’t know. People are judged by the way they look. Trust me, if you have solid experience and everything goes well in the interview but a barbie or ken doll comes walking in after you, you will not get the job. People are really just that shallow. I walked into a talent agency and looked around at all the super models sitting behind desks ordering shoes and updating their facebook profiles instead of doing their jobs and knew that I would not be hired because I don’t look like a super model. Although I am not ugly, it doesn’t matter. The young 20 something males in the office need their eye candy!
Do you have any advice on how to solve this problem? I have been to literally 40 or 50 interviews in the past two years. I have been looking because the place where I work is going to be sold to another company and I will be out of a job. I have very little time left. The interviewers expect perfection or someone who can BS their way to the top, I do not really know. I have seen some really stupid coworkers in my time and I know they are doing better then me because I cant get past the interviewer. Some of my problem is that I work on an off shift with off hours, so when I go on interviews it usually when I am tired because I have to get up during hours when I am usually sleeping and I know the interview can look at me and think well hes not very enthusiastic and its because I’m tired dammit. This is a big game like everything else and I would like to know the answer because I am tired of wasting time and gas going to interviewers in which I know the outcome already because there is no way i behave like do normally when I am tired.
I just got turned down for a job. The interview went really really well and the head chef who interviewed me near enough gave me the job there and then but because my mother in law works in the same department the manager overwrote the head chef and said no. There must be some kind of law preventing them from doing that?
Hi AJay,
Many companies have written or informal policies that prevent relatives from working in the same department or company. Sounds like you have run into this situation.
How frustrating for you! You could always ask the head chef if there are other places he recommends you apply — as clearly he liked you.
Good luck,
Chandlee