I’m not exactly sure how it happens, but otherwise delightful and totally rational people become stark raving loony-tunes nuts crazy leading up to and more importantly after an interview. Somehow the hiring process and very act of interviewing for a job triggers what I like to call the post interview temporary OCD blues.
“They haven’t called yet.”
I know.
“They still haven’t called yet.”
It’s only been five minutes since you last told me that.
“But I interviewed THREE whole hours ago. Why aren’t they calling me?”
This goes on for most of the next two or three weeks, in which time you’ve called or sent notes at least 6 times, until you finally get the call for the second interview. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! You feel your old self returning.
And then it starts all over again. Oh sure…the job interview went well, but right after the interview you feel the signs of temporary OCD returning. The obsessive thoughts and the compulsive need to contact them and make them act NOW! NOW. NOW!!!
“I know they liked me. They seemed to like me. Oh god…why didn’t they like me!”
I’m sure they did.
“Was that the phone?”
No. The dog sneezed.
“Why won’t they call me? Those self-absorbed, insensitive bastards. Don’t they know I’m waiting???? I hate all of them.”
It’s only been three days and they’re interviewing other people.
“It’s a stupid job anyway. If they don’t call by tomorrow, I don’t even want it any more.”
Makes total sense. I understand.
“That’s it. I’m done with the idiots.”
Good plan. Why be open to a job you want?
Just then the phone rings. You get the job. Wuhooo! You’re thrilled because truth be told they all seemed really nice and the job is everything you ever wanted.
After an interview why do folks just get crazy looney-tunes nuts?
So what happened to you? Why did obsessive-compulsive behavior take hold of an otherwise lovely person’s body and brain?
Of course, we know it’s an awful, stressful process where you have absolutely no control over what they do or how soon they do it. I’ve had the pleasure of hearing back in as little as a day and waiting as long as four loooong months for jobs where I was the top candidate.
There is no absolute rule or standard when it comes to the job interview hiring process. I’m sorry. I wish there were. I know it sucks. But seriously…driving yourself crazy by trying to second-guess what you can’t possibly know about is not worth it. Sometimes emergencies happen. Or huge rush projects. Or people get sick. Or there are behind-the-scenes negotiations or politics. And none of it is about you.
The best thing you can do is give the very best job interview you can and then just wait. Seriously. Sure, a pleasant note or two and an occasional call can help move things along – sometimes. But I suggest you do these things without getting tied to an actual result on your time schedule. They will move at their pace no matter what we do.
So what can you do in the meantime?
Things to Do While Waiting After an Interview
- At the most basic level, try daily breathing exercises. A good one suggested by Dr. Andrew Weil is to breathe in to a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and breathe out for a count of 8. I do it and it helps.
- Take up a new hobby – something you’ve always wanted to try. Yoga. Meditation. Tai chi. Tae kwon do. Knitting. Painting. Photography. Guitar. Acting. Whatever piques your interest or moves your spirit.
- Rent LOTS of movies and re-direct your obsessive behavior in that direction. Not sure a therapist would suggest that, but I’m just trying to get you through the interview process.
(To keep costs down, you can always join NetFlix for a month or two and then stop.) - Go to the library or local bookstore and find a bunch of books you’ve been meaning to read. This is the time.
- Volunteer somewhere. Turn your energy into something that helps others.
- Enlist the help of your friends and loved ones and make sure you get them to do things with you that keep your mind occupied.
- Also try putting your extra energy into doing extra things for people you care about. Hard to stay too obsessed about the interview, when you’re obsessing about…I mean doing something wonderful for a loved one.
- Keep looking for jobs! No matter how great this one job is, it helps to keep the energy aimed at finding work you really want. Sometimes an even better job comes along during this time.
- Write about your thoughts and feelings. And let your thoughts fly. Maybe even write a short story about a character going through what you’re going through. Maybe even give the protagonist super-powers to break through barriers and make things happen.
- Or make your story into a great country or blues song! “I’m waiting too long. They done me wrong.”
- Exercise. Even if it’s only walking 10-20 minutes a day. Movement is good for helping get you out of the obsessive thoughts. Use the time to think about something you like to do or someone you love or a place you would like to visit. (No…not the office where you interviewed. Sheesh.)
- Singing while exercising or even on its own helps redirect your thoughts. For me…it’s show tunes or good ole rock ‘n roll.
- If all else fails, I use bad TV to get lost in. Oh sure…it’s not a prescription for mental health, but we’re just talking about making it through the interview process!
Would love to hear your suggestions and thoughts. How do you stay sane during the post-interview, temporary OCD blues?
***
Related Work Coach Cafe posts:
After an Interview: Can Weekly Follow-up Calls and Emails Help Get You the Job?
After the Job Interview: Why Haven’t They Called Me Yet?
Stuck in the Waiting Game After 2nd Interview
12 Ways to Stay Sane After a Job Interview
And for those of you looking for some interview tips:
15 Things I Look for When I Interview People
New Work Coach Cafe Policy:
Sorry but I’m no longer able to answer all questions. Short ones have a better chance, but I still might not get to your question. Feel free to browse for answers in Career Topics & Archives or by using the Work Coach Cafe search. Good luck!
I just noticed this comment from over a year ago, but the same is going on with me right now too. The “re-posting” thing. I’ve noticed that this company has kept the job posted on their website and on other job search sites right through the interview process. I’ve been a little baffled by that myself. After the initial application there are 2 steps to get through before being chosen for a face 2 face interview so it’s not like we interview candidates are a shot in the dark. I asked how many would be interviewed and was told 3. That seems like a small number but was encouraged by it, 33% chance isn’t so bad compared to 0%. I assumed that one of us 3 would get the job because HR made us jump through hoops to get to the interview in the first place, which to me meant all 3 of us are qualified and all the team has to do is choose which one of us they like best, how long could that take? So a few days ago I noticed that the listing finally closed so I figured great they’re going to start deciding, but yesterday it was re-posted. I know there are 2 of these positions, but I was under the impression that they already had someone working in one for a while and they’re looking for the 2nd….the speculation is driving me crazy. Trying not to let it, but what Kevin said a year ago, that he hasn’t been officially blown off but the listing is right back there which means other people are still applying and therefore will have to be considered. I’ll always have that ray of hope until I get that official rejection but the lack of information and communication is starting to get really old. I know if I email my recruiter I’ll probably not get a response and if I call I’ll make a pest out of myself. It’s Friday, I’ll be happy around 5pm when I know for a fact that nothing will happen and I can give myself permission to not focus on it.
Hi LouiseGB! Thanks for your great comment.
And I agree with what Mallory learned from your words that “remain(ing) confident that you did your best is probably the best thing you could do for yourself.” Absolutely. It’s all we can ever do.
Hope you managed to both give yourself permission, Mallory, and follow through.
Here’s an article and comments about re-posting:
http://www.workcoachcafe.com/2009/05/27/they-re-posted-the-job-should-i-kiss-it-good-bye/
To quote my article, best advice is: “Keep looking for a job even while waiting to hear back.”
At this point, best to put your full energy into looking for another job. If this job still happens…great. But if not, the right one will come along.
Good luck!
~ Ronnie Ann
Great article. I interviewed a week ago with a company and they still haven’t called, How dare they…..Anyhow I related perfectly with this article.
Thanks
Hi Alex!
How dare they indeed!!! Glad the article helped…even if only for a brief non-OCD moment.
Best of luck, Alex. Hope you hear back soon. Would love to know what happens. You sound great.
~ Ronnie Ann
I did e-mail HR Friday to find out whether they had made a decision regarding my candidacy, I wasn’t really expecting a reply until Tuesday, if at all, but she did reply Saturday evening much to my surprise. No they hadn’t made a decision and yes she will let me know when they do and to enjoy my week-end…. It was a nice way to respond. I do know the next step is an aptitude test then second interview with the site manager. I am confident of my abilities, I am 48 and have a lot to offer. I truly enjoyed the article and other articles as well on your site. I will definitely keep you posted.
Thanks
Alex
Great attitude, Alex. Nice response from her…and so quickly. That alone puts you ahead of so many people who never hear back at all. Of course, what we all hope is that you eventually hear “we want you.”
Fingers crossed on getting to the next step…and beyond. Look forward to your updates.
~ Ronnie Ann
Not to be reverting back to the OCD moment, but I have a question for you. Now that she has contacted me in regards to my e-mail, how long should I give it now to follow-up to my follow-up????
Thanks
Alex
So this morning I had my 2nd interview for the job I’ve. Been waiting to hear from for months. It was S.T.A.R interview,with two interviewers,one was asking the questions and the other was just observing and listening(she was also a supervisor for the position I applied for).which made me a bit nervous.I answered the questions to the best of my ability and knowledge. They said they would let me know in a couple of weeks if I got the job or not.
Now I can’t stop thinking about how I really messed up on a question I answered,felt I could’ve told me a better one and that the one really bad answer just ruined my chances of getting the job
I sent the recruiter a Thank-you letter hours after my interview,but now I’m just so anxious to know if I got the job or not.I keep doubting myself. So I completely relate to this post =(
Hi Alex!
OCD moments do have a tendency to bounce back. Hopefully by now you’ve heard something, but if not…just let things rest for a while. You’ve done all you can.
As much as I know it helps to feel like there’s something to do, she is not going to forget about you or the position even if you don’t contact her. Once they have a small pile of the narrowed-down candidates, it’s not like they forget them.
At this point, a follow-up in two weeks is totally cool. And it may take longer than that., so brace yourself. Now is not the time to start bugging them or looking over-anxious. Remember…you are still in the interview process.
Good luck, Alex. Please continue to keep us posted!
~ Ronnie Ann
Hello Again,
What I have heard from asking around is that they are hiring 16 individuals all together and they had interviewed 60+ people. In the meantime I have made myself available for a 6 month contract with another company which starts mid March. In that respect I’m confident, but the full-time position is what I am hoping for. Not to get totally OCD, but are you saying follow up with her 2 weeks from today or 2 weeks from the date of her response?? Also, when I do contact her again, should I bring up the fact that I will be working contract for another company. Oh and this contract is through a Personnel company so it’s not a contract in the strictest sense that I can’t break it. I have already informed the Personnel company in regards to interviewing with the other company. One question always leads to another Ronnie…..
Thanks
Alex
Alex,
I don’t have all the answers (no one does) which is why I don’t answer all the questions.
There is no exact number of days nor an exact way to handle this. Just know if you if you are one of their top choices, they won’t forget. So obsessing is just not worth it.
As for the other stuff…I’d like to hear what YOU think. Oh and final thought…sometimes the “wrong” choice opens doors we never imagined – so trying to do everything right could lead us astray too. Isn’t that a brain twister? ~ Ronnie Ann
Thanks Ronnie,
I think in regards to my Temp position, I will keep it to myself for now. It is on my resume as a place I have worked the past couple of years (six months starting March are peak time) so in that regard the interviewing company already knows about them. In regards to the follow up, I will give it another week before sending a quick note, that will be 3wks from my initial interview and 2 weeks from my 1st follow-up. That is if I don’t receive a call this week or a letter.
Again Ronnie, I thank-you for the info.
Alex
I have a big smile on my face, Alex. Seems you have some good answers after all.
And you’re in a great position either way. Can’t wait to hear some happy news…I hope. ~ Ronnie Ann
Hi Sandra!
Glad the article helps. You are most definitely not alone in doubting and second-guessing after the interview.
If it helps at all, the purpose of an interview is not to see how you answer each and every question, but the feel they get from you and whether they think you can not only do the job but fit in with the rest of the company. And most of that is communicated apart from the precise words you use – although of course they help paint the picture.
BTW…having your future supervisor there is a critical part of any hiring process – although I know it can be unsettling. You want to meet them too!
Despite your many doubts, I really hope you get a nice surprise from them. And if for any reason they do decide to go with someone else, please send them each a lovely note telling them how much you enjoyed meeting them and that you hope they will consider you for a position in the future.
Best of luck! Would love to hear how it turns out.
~ Ronnie Ann
Hi Ronnie Anne,
Just a little follow-up to my recent posts. I am working the contract position and I did follow-up again with the HR department where I interviewed. She responded again March 4th that they had not made a decision as of yet who would proceed to the next step and she would make contact when this decision has been made. On the one hand it was nice getting a follow-up reply but more waiting
This week is March Break, so it may be another week.
Alex
I don’t envy you the waiting, Alex, but glad you have the contract position in the meantime. Really appreciate your keeping us posted. Hope you hear something SOON!
Good luck getting the position you want, Alex. ~ Ronnie Ann
I had a second interwiew about a week ago, I was told that I am a strong canidate however she is still conducting interviews but a desision will be made by Wed. I have not received a responce yet. Question, what is a strong canidate and why do employers tell you that they are still interviewing, hello obvious?
Hi Tammy S!
Actually, not obvious. You could have been their last candidate interviewed before the deliberation process (which could take weeks) began. They were being nice and keeping you informed. Many employers don’t even do that.
As for what a strong candidate is…one whom they are considering seriously. Some go right into the “no” pile.
It’s not uncommon not to hear on the date you were told and so no way to interpret it. At this point, all you can do is keep looking elsewhere with full energy (always a smart approach) and, if you haven’t heard back by midweek, send a polite e-mail expressing your continued interest and asking if there is anything else they need from you at this point.
Good luck!
There are two companies I’m waiting to hear back from. For one of them, the HR lead has been very kind to give me updates whenever I follow up. Some things she said were “We’re still interested” but I guess they were interviewing an additional person. She mentioned the Hiring Director was coming back into the office last Thurs and they would be ready to make a decision. She said she’d get back to me later that week but heard nothing. My guess is I’m a backup to the guy they made an offer to, so she can’t say anything. The best case scenario is that they haven’t made a decision yet. I’m hoping it’s the latter.
Hi Motoki!
Good analysis. I join you in hoping for the latter.
Just so you know…I got one job after an offer was made to another candidate AND they actually started. Screwed up royally. Company came back to me. Now I don’t say this happens all the time, but it certainly speaks to staying in touch no mater what the outcome. But also…always be looking until you have an actual offer in hand.
I have my fingers crossed for you. Good luck!
Thank you so much, your take on the post interview process made me realize that I am not the only OCD waiter out there! I had a great relaxing laugh while reading your list of things to do while waiting.
I’m so glad, Sharon. Thanks. I write this stuff just for folks like you. Good luck!
Hi Ronnie Anne,
but I am still on contract so I am working. A little while back I had applied for a position with a company through a 3rd party recruiter. I ended up getting an interview. Prior to the interview I met with the case manager associated with the recruiting company and he told me all kinds of things to say. Well needless to say, none of the stuff he was talking about came up and needless to say I screwed up my interview:(. Now I see the same company hasn’t hired anybody and they advertised for the job again and asked for no 3rd party recruiters….
An up-date and a question. I didn’t get the job I had been interviewing for
I honestly feel I screwed up because of the “pep”
talk prior to the interview. Do you think it would be a waste of time applying and going down that road??? I know the worst they could say is no, but……????I know this is a bit off topic, but any advice would help.
Thanks
Hi Alex!
Sorry the other job didn’t work out. But I like your thinking.
Not sure what the ethical/contractual boundaries are as it relates to the recruiter (let them decide that), but if it were me, I’d certainly give it a try with a great cover letter and even sharper (matched to the job) resume.
Let them know you are really interested in the job and would even consider taking the job on as contract work (if that’s true) just to show them how well you can fit in. You might even admit you let interview nerves get in the way but are sure a second interview would show them a lot more of the real you and what you have to offer.
Not sure any of that will work…but if you think it’s worth a chance, why not?
Good luck! Would love to hear what happens.
I LOVE this website! I’ve been job hunting for over 2 years, but more so these past several months in an attempt to quit my current job. This site has helped me cope with many things regarding job searching, interviews, etc.
I had an interview this past Friday with a company who is currently seeking a full time Web Developer. Luckily, I’m acquainted with one of the girls who work there, and later found out she is the person who will be needing the replacement. I contacted her firsthand regarding my schedule because I go to a community college in the mornings and am currently seeking a part time position. She got back to me and said the company is open for a part timer. I’ve spent hours polishing up my resume and cover letter prior to the interview, and finally scored an interview with the company. I thought it went rather well. They asked questions directly related to my skills and experiences that I’m sure would help the position I’m after (I don’t feel that way in most job interviews). The company owner said I have “excellent skill sets” but is undergoing few more interviews and may hire one part-timer and one full-timer. Whatever the case is in their hiring decisions, I hope I get hired ’cause I want the job SO bad.
I just hate the waiting part and as much as I try to occupy myself and stay patient, it’s nearly impossible!
Hi Tia,
Congratulations on landing the interview – maybe the hardest part! – and doing so well in it.
I know the waiting part is also terribly hard but, instead of just focusing on “will they or won’t they offer me the job”, I hope you’ll keep moving ahead with your job search plan, in case this one falls through.
By keeping at it, you’ll be looking for and staying open to new opportunities — possibly even better than this one. And, of course, the activity will pre-occupy you a little and keep you from dwelling on that one job too much. You know the saying “don’t put all your eggs in one basket”.
But I hope you get that call soon!
Best,
Meg Guiseppi
Member of the WorkCoachCafe Team
Hi Ronnie Ann,
You have perfectly spoken what was in mind, This shows that what i am going through is nothing new but a routine in everyone’s life. To cut it short I am posting MY OCD Blues in 3 simple steps
1. I got a call from this company they scheduled telephonic interview round on 15th December 2011.
2.After 1st round OCD Blues started as this was a very good opening it was like a Dream coming true
3. I got a call on 20th Dec 2011 telling that I have cleared 1st round and i will be having the 2nd telephonic interview round immediately in another 3 hours.
3. I finished the 2nd Round i was confident that i have done it very well, OCD Blues where cured only on that day, to return the following day , My OCD Blue started again. I did not hear from them for 3 weeks. I did all that you explained, deleted their telephone number deleted all their mails and promised myself to go on with life as they are not the only people who can provide job.
4. On the 2nd Day of the 4th Week i Got a call from them that i have cleared 2nd round and i will have the 3rd and final round on that same day after 5 hours. OCD vanished only for that day. 3rd round conducted on 11th January 2012.
5. OCD again are running HIGH as till today i haven’t herd anything from them it’s almost 2 weeks i did send them a remainder politely asking for the status, they have not replied.
WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW!!!!!!!!
Hi Arvind,
You have every reason to be climbing the walls with what’s been happening. But it does help to know that what you’re experiencing is practically universal with all job seekers, doesn’t it? You are certainly not alone, and this is a good place to vent.
As Ronnie Ann pointed out so insightfully, the second-guessing can tear you apart. A contrary loop keeps running in your brain, telling you one second, “They really like me” because I _______ (said all the right things, smiled a lot, pitched myself perfectly — fill in the blank with the good stuff) and another second “Maybe they don’t like me because I _______ (was nervous, said that dumb thing, stuttered with my answers, forgot to shake someone’s hand — fill in the blank with whatever bad stuff you’re ruminating about).
With all that noise in your head, it’s probably difficult to concentrate on anything at all, and get anything done. You need to quiet your brain. See what you can do to distract yourself for a time, and get that loop to stop running. Ronnie Ann offered some great suggestions. Here are a few more — take a walk (even inside the house), take a close look once again at the family photos you have around to remind you of good times, call a friend and talk about anything but that job, go to the gym, cook something you really like, if you don’t cook, think about learning.
What should you do now? Since you haven’t reached out for 2 weeks, you can give it another try. If you’ve gone through 3 rounds, you must be high on their list, so they should understand how anxious you are for an update.
Good luck. We’re all hope you get good news on this soon!
Meg Guiseppi
Member of the WorkCoachCafe Team