I just found “why do I get so nervous during job interview?” among the search terms used to get to this blog. In fact, there have been quite a few of you looking for help with job interview nerves. Clearly, being really stressed out by the interview process is not an isolated problem. (To say the least.)
So why do job interviews make us feel really nervous, even if we know we’d be great for the job? A good question indeed. I’ll do my best to come up with some answers – and offer tips to help you fight those annoying interview nerves that may be getting in the way of you getting an offer.
First, let me restate the obvious…job interviews are stressful by nature. None of us like to give up control to others when it comes to something as important as your career. And almost everyone gets interview nerves to one extent or another when they interview – sometimes even the interviewer us nervous!
I hope it helps to learn that most interviewers expect you to be at least a little nervous. But for some of us, the mere thought of being on the answer end of an interview question makes our nerves run wild – way beyond a little nervous! And that can be a problem.
Actors are usually told to take their nerves and turn them into performance energy. It would be great if we could do this in interviews (and it’s worth trying), but then again we don’t get to rehearse our exact words the way actors do. 
For most of us, the only thing we gain from a bad case of interview nerves is a strong desire to run!
Worst of all…as much as we want to gain control of ourselves and our nerves during an interview, the more we try to control our nerves, the less relaxed we are. But of course what we want more than anything during interviews is to relax and just be ourselves. Luckily there are some things we can do to help. But first let’s answer the question I found…
Why do you get so nervous during job interviews?
- It’s scary and uncomfortable being judged.
- It’s scary and uncomfortable being the focus and having to come up with good answers for whatever they ask you.
- You don’t know what they’re going to ask.
- You don’t know for sure if what you say is a good answer.
- You don’t like talking about yourself.
- You don’t feel comfortable “selling” yourself.
- You don’t interview every day and so you aren’t sure you know how to do it well.
- You really need a job.
- You worry that if you don’t get this job there may not be another chance any time soon.
- You worry that you’ll sound stupid.
- You worry there’s something about you or your background they’ll hate.
- You have no idea exactly what they’re looking for.
- You hate the idea of being rejected based on just one short meeting.
- You think you have to be more than you are.
Getting past interview fear and calming your nerves!
Luckily there are ways to help you get enough past the fear to still give a great interview despite your nerves. Actors for instance use those nerves to motivate a more energized and exciting performance. No reasons you can’t do that too!
First and foremost, it helps to demystify that which we can’t control. So make sure to give yourself get a better understanding of the hiring process in general – including what goes on behind the scenes. Add to that stronger interview skills, a belief in yourself and your abilities, and a clear picture of how you match what the employer is looking for and you have a winning combo!
To help with all that here are some posts from the Work Coach Cafe archives. Hopefully they can help you calm at least some of those interview nerves while also improving your interview skills and chances (more tips below these links):
Job Interview Questions and Answers
What’s Your Greatest Strength?
What’s Your Greatest Weakness?
Where Do You See Yourself Five Years from Now?
Handling Some Tough Interview Questions
Explaining Why You Left the Last Job So Soon
How Do I Interview After Being Fired?
How Do I Explain Dropping Out of Law School?
Job Interview Tips
15 Things I Look for When I Interview People
Job Interviews: Practical Tips to Help You Ace That Job Interview
The Single Most Important Thing in Any Job Interview
Please Help Me Ace My Phone Interview!
The Hiring Process: Behind the Scenes
Who the Heck is Screening Your Resume?
What the Heck Goes On Behind the Scenes After a Job Interview?
10 Impressions You Leave Behind After a Job Interview
~~~
A Few Simple Tips to Help Fight Those Interview Nerves
And finally, if you don’t feel like reading any of those posts (although I hope you read at least a few of them since they give a more detailed understanding that can really help), here are a few quick tips I hope will at least help calm some of those interview nerves:
- Do some relaxation exercises the night before, when you wake up the morning of the interview, and right before the interview. Gentle, slow deep breathing (in four, hold seven, out eight) is a very good way to help relax your body.
- Visualize the interview going well and everyone smiling and shaking hands afterward. (You may want to do this a few times prior to the actual interview day.)
- Practice interviewing beforehand with the help of friends and/or family. Practice a lot until you start to feel more comfortable talking about yourself.
- Research the company as much as possible to help you feel on top of things and answer intelligently. This will also help you come up with good questions to ask.
- Prepare stories ahead of time that speak to the employer’s needs and not simply toward your wants or interests. (Best of all is when they coincide.)
- Now that you’ve done all that, on the day of the interview…trust in yourself and let it all go. It’s already inside you and will be there when you need it. Remember to
- Be in the moment (not thinking ahead or about what was just said)
- Listen carefully to what you’re asked
- Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification if you need it
- And most of all just be yourself. (I know from my own experience as an interviewer, this will help make the interview better for everyone.)
Just remember: You are fine exactly as you are and have things to offer your potential employer that no one else can. Your only job during the interview is to help them see who you really are. You don’t have to be anyone else.
If nothing else works: Give yourself permission to fail. That’s right…tell yourself it’s ok if you answer every single question completely wrong and come out looking like a complete idiot. You might also tell yourself this is just practice and it doesn’t really matter to help ease some of the tension. Then just say “what the hell”, be yourself, and go for it!
I know this sounds crazy – and easier to say than do – but I guarantee you’ll come off looking more natural and more interesting than if you go in all stiff and self-conscious trying so hard to be perfect – especially since you have no idea what that really means to them! Spontaneous and relaxed are a powerful team once you’ve prepared ahead of time and know who you are.
And anyway…who wants to work for a boss who is so uptight you’re afraid to be yourself.
Well…that’s all for now. Good luck finding a job that’s right for you!
~ Ronnie Ann
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New Work Coach Cafe Policy:
Although I had to stop answering individual questions (to preserve my sanity), as always your thoughts and stories are VERY welcome here.
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nnn
Also don’t forget that a certain amount of nervous energy can be helpful in an interview—or in any situation. It keeps you alert, on your toes and in the moment. You listen more closely because you’re anxious about doing well. And honestly, if you seem too relaxed, it can come off as blasé or, worse, arrogant.
Still, you don’t want to be all Barney Fife jittery. When I was first teaching, I was told that doing something physical—vigorously erasing the blackboard at the start of a class, for instance—could burn off nervous energy and help you relax. Walking very briskly to your interview or even taking the stairs instead of the elevator [as long as you're sure you can exit the stairwell!] can serve the same purpose. Just make sure you’re not all sweaty or out of breath as a result.
What brings about job interview jitters? Think about your mindset:
* As advertised, the job is just too perfect for you, and with the type of company you REALLY want to work for. You’re too uptight about giving an answer to a question that you only *perceive* might be the one that will determine if you’re a finalist or not.
* You’re out of work and you really need to land a job. So, this is front of mind as you walk in the door for the interview.
Just to name a couple of examples.
Terry B: Excellent reminder Terry. Nervous energy can be converted to positive energy. And agree…no one wants to hire a limp rag.
Often, when a person relaxes enough, they can let their true self shine through, and that should include energy! Nerves can sometimes drain and divert a person’s natural energy. Some people know how to use the nerves and turn it into excitement – but for many, the nerves just mask part of who they really are. So take those deep breaths, do your visualizations, and let your real self shine through with energy galore!
Rick: Thanks for adding to the conversation. You’re so right about how perfect those ads can make a job sound. When I used to interview for jobs, I sometimes would look at the ad and get scared for a minute and then remind myself that it’s just a job with real daily activities I can handle.
I am going to have to up my mock interview practice. It is the only way.
Hi AJ!
Sorry I didn’t get to your other comment yet. It’s been hectic around here. Yes…it helps to practice and to maybe even watch yourself on video if you can. But the trick is to practice and then let it go when you actually interview so you feel natural and totally in the moment. Show you can really listen and take your time to answer what they ask. Some people memorize lines and it comes off stiff and unreal. Most of all, believe in yourself.
Best if luck, AJ! Please let us know how it’s going. I know you can do it.
Hi,
Great advise !!! Thank you
So I have a question for you? I work for the district at a school as a finance manager everyone got fired and we have to reapply for our position which I did and guess what I did not get because my nerves got in the way but no one else got it either not because I don’t know my job so I think!!! But I’m in an unique situation where is there is two high schools one property we have a new principal who really does not know my work ethic and there is the other principal who i feel does not like me so much, it is complicated. I would really like your opinion on if I should apply once again since no one got the job, and as a note I am working as a finance manager but everyone had to reapply in order to keep it. Sincerely much thanks.
Hi Karla!
Unfortunately there are too many details and nuances I don’t know. If it were me, I’d put on my most positive “we can make this work” attitude and try again. What’s to lose at this point? And you never know when your timing is just right – no matter what else might be going on. If you can muster the nerve to speak with both principals and let them see what positive, resourceful energy you bring to the job, it might help. Or if you know someone who can help you understand what happened and what might get you the job back, might be a great time to network.
I wish you much luck. Don’t let the fear of being rejected again (I know great people who have been rejected many times
) stop you from trying.
Hello I just wanted to share my problems with interviews. I have really really bad anxiety and every time I get an interview I end up not going because my anxiety blocks me from going. And I was just wondering what is a good way for me to brake to make my anxiety to go away. Thank You.
Hi Jimmy,
Most of us are anxious about interviews, but not showing up for an interview is not a helpful way to deal with the situation.
My recommendation is to do three things:
1. Look at each interview as a two-way street.
You want to know more about them as much as they want to know more about you. It’s a learning opportunity for everyone. Would this be a good match for both “sides” of the table? That’s really the core issue in a job interview, but many job seekers lose track of it in their concern to give a great performance.
You’ll have an opportunity to see inside an employer’s offices or premises, meet their employees, and find out what they do. You’ll have a chance to ask questions to find our more about them and to decide if you want to work for them. Maybe you don’t, but you won’t know until you go there to see them and to ask your questions of them.
2. Understand that you don’t have anything to lose but time.
Worst case, you’ll decide that you don’t want to work there, or they’ll decide that they don’t want to hire you. Either way, you come out OK when it is over. No harm; no foul. You’ll probably never see those people again, unless you want to.
And interviewing, particularly for someone who is introverted or shy, is something that gets easier with practice.
So, worst case – you’ll have more practice at interviewing when you are done, and you’ll do better next time. Best case – you’ll have a job offer!
3. Take the time to be well-prepared.
We know the common interview questions that get asked. Write down your answers. Practice them at home. Say them out loud, maybe in front of a mirror, maybe not. It’s good to get feedbck on your answers which means saying your answers to someone else (which is great practice). Say them out loud until you can do it relatively comfortably without reading them.
Do some research on how to answer the questions. You’ll find MANY excellent articles written by Ronnie Ann here on WorkCoachCafe.com about answering interview questions – just look in the right column or click on “Career Topics” at the top of the page and then select “How to Answer Annoying Job Interview Questions” to find help.
If you can get professional help with your interviewing techniques – someone knowledgeable to practice on – that would be most effective for you. If you are in the USA, find your local Career OneStop Center. You’ll get free, professional help there. Pick your location from the options on America’s Service Locator.
Bottom line:
Everyone is nervous in an interview, and employers know that and take it into consideration. Know that you will screw up. Everyone screws up. It is NOT fatal!
Go for it, Jimmy. You CAN do this! You MUST do this – your other options for making a living are limited – so go for it!
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you! Stay in touch.
Good luck!
Susan
As a recent college graduate(engineering), this site is truly a gem among gems for me. Thank you for posting this brilliant information.
Thank you!
Even though i never really did answer any interview questions well before, now i am required to do the job of interviewing groups of people who wants to be in a band. Some how it feels as though i am in no position to interview them when i cant answer those questions well myself and this website served as a guidance as to what to expect.
However, due to huge number of request for a band position i was told by superior to really make the interview a difficult one so as to seek out potential committed members for the band. I do not want to discourage those who are similar to me who holds real passion in joining a band but almost not able to answer interview questions well. Is there a way i can do to achieve that goal?
Alwin
hi ..i have just completed my mba in hr and on a look out for a job…i had done my internship in a hospital and my father is a doctor so when ever i go for an interview for instance in an IT company ..the interviewer asks me “why did you choose a hospital for internship….is it coz your dad is a doctor he must have got you that internship..huh”….(obviously he did coz i needed to start with my internship immediately)…how to tackle such questions as i always get stuck up ..i feel the interviewer makes me feel im useless and ran to my dad for an internship…!!!
Hi Raghav,
There’s no need to disclose in any interview — who your father is and that he helped you get an internship. What is important if you are changing fields or industry sector (the example you give is from healthcare to IT), you need to be able to say what led you to decide to pursue the change — and why you want to work in a new capacity.
In other words, what it is about IT that is a good fit for you, what skills do you have, and how do you hope to put them to work.
Good luck,
Chandlee
thanks a bunch for the reply !!…the problem arises when they first begin by asking about my family…so i need to mention my father’s occupation…and they notice the internship thing in my CV so i kind of mess up..any tip you can give in that matter??
Raghav,
Not sure where you are applying for work. But in the U.S., there are strict guidelines on what you may ask and what you may not. And one of the things you can’t ask is about cultural background or marital status. You don’t need to mention your father’s occupation, or you could simply say he’s a scientist — which is also true. You can also say, “my family is in good health and I visit them regularly but spending time with them doesn’t conflict with my work obligations” if this is in fact true.
Good luck!
Best,
Chandlee
That’s interesting. I have been raised in the U.S. all my life but born overseas and people ask strange thing anyway. Yes, I usually never get asked about race but I have been asked about my cultural background during a job interview three times. I don’t know how to answer so I just tell the truth what my race is. A male manager once asked me what language I speak.Twice asked me what nation I was from. I got the job in all cases but seems strange. Another time I was asked my an itnerview how I got a job in my previoius jobs which had nothing to do with the current role I was interviewing and its in the past. These were mostly asked by highly competitive males. I always thought that was the strangest question. I replied I was the best person for the job. There is envy/jeaslousy that that overcomes people. It’s so highly competitive.
Dear Goforth,
It sounds like you’ve been asked some interview questions that are illegal to ask. Here’s a list of these questions — and ones you can. A great way to avoid answering the question how you got the job is to instead say how you FOUND OUT about the job. Since you weren’t on the interviewing committee, you can’t say for sure WHY you got the job over someone else!
Good luck and all the best,
Chandlee
Hello there: I am considering two different positions. I want some help in deciding which one.
I have a consulting background.
1) The first role at a smaller consulting firm which is ahead in interviews is offering me a lot more money, a better title, and bonus but it requires weekly travel but just a few hours and back but with more money comes more stress with travel. It reports into someone high level. They have been nothing but nice to me from the get go.
2) The other position is with a huge congolmerate(stable company) but reports into a mid-level manager. The director thinks I am overqualified but I told them I need to learn their company first. The job is 20 minutes from my house. It doesn’t pay as much but its with a big company that is viable. They are so slow though in their interviews. I told them to hurry up and now they are getting rolling. The reporting role up may be too low for me. I need to check on how challenged I will be.
I like the people in both firms. Both report into good people. I’m a little confused as to which one to go with.. take the $?
Can you provide some insight into how to assess which company is a right fit? Also, I have 13 years of experience. My goal is to move up the corporate ladder as quickly as possible. So, big company I may be stuck and have to work my way to the top for many years. It’s not easy once you in the company.
Can you help with suggestions? Thank you!
Also, 2nd company comes with some equity plus the bonus and the stock is stable. Ideally 2nd company is the way to go but I am afraid of going into a large firm at that level as its hard to work upward. I could wait a few years and then re-apply after 2 years and get in at a higher level.
The initial words from the article “Why Do I Get So Nervous During a Job Interview?” was WAY apropos to what I just went through; a rambling diatribe during a phone interview. One would think that having notes at one’s side would have greatly assisted, but my mind can, literally, go blank….WAY frustrating. I wish I could just be told a hilarious off-color (my favorite kind) joke so that I would lighten-up. I agree that one needs to rehearse, rehearse and rehearse before ANY interview so that one’s examples are so indelibly etched into one’s mind that no case of nerves will stop you from retrieving them.
Hi Samuel,
Here are three strategies I recommend for overcoming anxiety/nervousness before any interview.
1. Tell yourself the employer wants to hire you. Otherwise, they would not likely invite you to be interviewed.
2. Find at least three other jobs that are currently open that you are qualified for. Keep a list of them. This may help you feel like there are more options available.
3. Make a playlist — in advance — of songs you find that relax you and make you feel positive and optimistic.
Good luck!
All the Best,
Chandlee
Thank you thank you thank you for this insight! I am preparing for a second interview at a CPA firm (with the audit partner and 5 other staff — yikes—-) but you have helped assuage my fears! They’re still there but I feel like they’re a bit more controllable.
Thanks so much!!
//Stephanie
Hi Stephanie,
Good luck and keep us posted. Play some nice music before your interview, then take three deep breaths before you walk in.
All the Best,
Chandlee
Hi Chandlee,
I need some help in job offers. I had a permanent job offer with a firm that requires me to travel 2 hours away. The firm is based there but they lliked me a lot and said its ok I travel there every week and still live in my state which I thought was nice but the travel is tough so I said no I prefer to stay local and I have job offers here. They really wanted me to work there.
I now have last round interviews at local firims but due to the recession there is so much competition and the firms are not closing the rounds to make an offer so now I’m stuck.
What do I do? Go back to Firm A that I declined and tell them that their offer was the best or wait this painful process out with the local firms. These are locl contract jobs. not perm. but at least I get to stay local.
It’s been a few weeks now and just aren’t moving.. I don’t know what to do. The recession is horrible and its so tough to find a job..
Can you provide some advice?
Thank you!
Hi Competitive,
It appears you’ve asked a similar question twice with the same email address. The answer for the second question is the same as the first which I’ve already provided.
Good luck and all the best,
Chandlee
I need some help.
Firm A offered me a job that requires travel so I declined it indicating that there were local jobs.
The local jobs are contract jobs and are not moving now into offers.
So the classic, bird in the hand vs. 2 in the bushel is appropriate here.
I am stuck now.. Should I go back to firm A and ask for re-consideration or should I stick it out?
My personal goals are to settle down as well so I don’t know how to approach this issue.
I’d appreciate some help!
Thank You!
Idealism,
You can always try but realize that they may not be comfortable with your change of heart. I’d come prepared with a convincing argument on why you plan to live where you want to live. And why you are now open to the offer. Be careful, though — you don’t want it too look like this company was your back-up plan.
Good luck,
Chandlee
Chandlee,
Thank you for the advice. I decided to stick to my intial decisions. I think the travel is not too healthy and I’ll keep looking for the right local opportunities.
Thanks again!
Idealism
Dear Idealism,
Sounds like a wise move. Keep us posted.
Best,
Chandlee
Hi Chandlee,
I have an issue with a agency who is not being honest about a requisition with a big client. My interview with the hiring manager went really well.
I hadan excellent interview with a hiring manager who wanted me to come in to do a face to face interview. All was fine and then the agency tells me that they want a phone interview and then the interviewer never calls me.
Now the agency is playing phone tag with this big client or so he says and he continues to tell me he is in conference calls with the client and then that he will get back to me on status of my candidacy. It’s been awhile now and the agency hasn’t called back. This could all be a lie from the agency. I do believe the client likes my background.
This agency doesn’t appear to have a good relationship with this client or someone on the team does not like them.
I have asked another agency to represent meto this client in the interim but they are cautiously proceeding with that.
The reason is that I’m one of the few in my area that has this skill set. Just goes to show that one cannot trust an agency. They sometimes do not tell the truth. Also, its an Indian agency and they tend to be dishonest at times. I have learned my lesson.
Any suggestions on how to handle this?
Thanks!
Dear Worried,
Why don’t you apply directly with firms instead of applying through third-party recruiting agencies? If you apply directly, then the employer has a lower cost to hire you…
I’d recommend you refrain from making negative comments about others in public — especially ones that could be construed as stereotyping. I’d avoid making statements such as “this group tends to be dishonest” anywhere. Want an example of the damage such remarks can cause? Just ask a politician!
Best,
Chandlee
Dear Chandlee,
I am applying directly with firms as well. I have had dozens of interviews via this method as well. The reason I made that statement about the agency is that I am indian myself. I know from first hand experience and from dealing with these indian agencies they do tend to be dishonest. I’m asian myself:-) Also, this is the first experience of its kind in my career where the response hasn’t been given.
And I still haven’t heard from the agency:-)
Thanks,
Worried.
Dear Worried,
Thanks for follow-up and full explanation. That said, I still advise NEVER ever making disparaging remarks or comments on stereotypes about groups in writing on a website or anywhere else that it can be picked up and potentially used against you.
I’d advise you to keep your focus on the job search. If you distrust an agency, can you apply directly instead or seek out other firms? And I’d encourage you to seek out more than one opportunity in general. Applying for multiple opportunities expands your chances…
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Chandlee
I am an engineer, recently over the last 6 months I have failed my accreditation, some of the questions where relatively straight forward, some that little more tricky which leaves me to search for a flustered non cohearant answer which leaves all confused on what I am actually trying to say, my nerves are in pieces and has now left me with no confidence what so ever, I have to repeat this accreditation or lose my job. I read all requirements but still leaves my memory empty. Any help from you be, at least, give me back my confidence
Simon,
Oh, that’s a tough spot to be in. I don’t think we can solve your problem in a few sentences, but I am sure there are people who can help you. I recommend getting help on two fronts:
1. Hire a tutor who has passed the exam…
2. You may also want to see a coach or psychologist who can help you deal with your feelings of getting overwhelmed and feeling as if you have an empty memory.
Organizations such as Toast Masters can help you improve your speaking skills.
I’d also recommend doing something outside of engineering that makes you feel very good about your own skills as that may help you increase your confidence. You may also want to write a list of all your accomplishments…outside of engineering as well. Remember that — even in the worse case scenario — you could still find another job that you enjoy, too.
Good luck and all the best,
Chandlee
When I interview I tend to sweat. I always carry a handkerchief during my interview just in case. Any suggestions?
Hi Wes,
Have you ever tried meditating or listening to relaxing music before an interview? If not, try that — and three deep breaths before you go in. Good luck!
Best,
Chandlee