Work Coach Cafe

I’m a big fan of investing yourself 100% in your job search. In fact, I just posted Make Job Hunting a Daily Job. It Really Pays Off!

But…while you want to pull out all the stops in tracking down job possibilities and pursuing networking contacts, you do NOT want to be perceived as a pain in the you-know-what. As much as people might admire your determination, no one wants to work with a person who doesn’t have a firm grasp on boundaries.

If your efforts come off as aggressively charming, that’s good. Stalker is bad.

This includes how often you try to contact the head of a company, how many times you call or e-mail people you’ve interviewed with, and even how often you apply for a job after you’ve been turned down. But mostly it’s about the way you go about it.

It’s always fine to check after a couple of weeks to see how you did in an interview. And it’s cool to find the name of an executive or department head and see if they’ll meet with you or at least look at your resume. And it’s fine – even a smart idea – to keep in polite contact (that means every once in a while) if you’ve been turned down by a company you really want to work for. But you’re only risking ticking them off if you keep e-mailing and calling and pursuing them just to satisfy your own needs.

I can tell share this golden nugget from much first-hand experience as an interviewer: if they’re interested, you don’t have to pursue them. Good talent is hard to find and the person who needs to make the decision knows who they want – and who they don’t want. Believe me…we don’t forget!

The problem, I know, is that all too often the wait seems interminable. And besides keeping you in the dark for so long, sometimes they don’t even have the common decency to let you know. And that sucks. So it’s ok to call to check.

But bugging them too much may actually get them to take your name off their “potential candidates” list. Why? Remember…they’re always thinking about how it would be to work with you and, while the process is still ongoing, you’re being interviewed even when you aren’t in a room with anyone. Not always fair, but it’s the way it is.

Now I always have a story. And this one will sound like an exception to what I just wrote. But hang in and we’ll try to decipher what it means.

A friend of mine fresh out of grad school was determined to work for CBS. He got an interview through campus recruiting and CBS didn’t call him back for a second one. But he was determined and tried again. He found people at the company to contact and got himself more interviews. Four more in fact. And he was finally hired; and, years later, went on to become an executive there.

So what made that ok? It’s hard to explain. There was something about the way he went after it …with humor and awareness on his part…plus his charming personality that always approached people with respect and a great attitude. He exuded confidence, but he also had a twinkle in his eye that didn’t make him seem too full of himself. Basically someone you would like to work with, even when he wasn’t selected.

But mostly…he kept after it within the boundaries of what was ok. He never pushed too hard or too long. He also cultivated a friendship along the way with someone at CBS who could help him. As I always say…networking can make all the difference. And even though his ally wasn’t in the same department, he put in a good word for my friend…and that’s how he eventually got the job.

So although I can’t give you the exact description of when someone crosses the line from charmingly aggressive to stalker, I just want you to know it’s there. Maybe putting yourself in the shoes of the other person will help you judge. And also checking to see if you’re feeling desperation when you attempt communication or retaining your sense of perspective and humor. No matter how much you want or need the job, they can smell desperation and it’s not going to get you the job.

Unfair as it is, most people want to hire people who who seem comfortable with themselves and with the job requirements – and who will bring to their job the same balance they’ve brought to their own lives. It all goes into the picture they look at when making their decision.

I hope this has given you a little perspective from the other side. Please don’t let anything I’ve said stop you from taking chances to connect to people or get your resume seen. Just know there is a point where less is definitely more.

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New Work Coach Cafe Policy:

Although I had to stop answering individual questions (to preserve my sanity), as always your thoughts and stories are VERY welcome here.

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