No. This is not about any of those seven words George Carlin made so famous. These are three words you probably use every day that can keep your career from taking off…or from ever soaring to the heights you are capable of reaching.
And just what are these three words?
- SHOULD
- TRY
- WANT
OK. I hear some of you shouting at me (yes…you in the back): “What’s wrong with those words? People use them all the time!”
Yes, you’re right. And you probably also want to tell me there are a lot of things we should do…such as we should always try our best. It’s important to want things, or how else will we ever get there?
Well, you make some really good points. 
Of course, the words themselves have a legitimate place in our language and in our daily life. But, from now on, I’d like you to give them a lot less influence and power in your work life.
Here’s what I mean.
Should: How many times do you hear yourself say “I really should do that.” But somehow, you never get around to it. Why? Because should isn’t about ACTION, it’s about a state of mind. It’s also not necessarily what you believe, but what you think you should believe.
But if you CHOOSE to do something of your own volition and truly commit yourself as of this moment to taking concrete action to make it happen, it becomes a part of you. You are no longer just thinking about it, you are on your way toward achieving something real. Maybe even a first step toward one of your heartfelt goals. Should only pacifies your brain while letting you stay stuck exactly where you are.
Try: And that segues nicely into the next word, try. I’m sure you’re ahead of me already. Try doesn’t get you to the goal – often it just leaves you spinning your wheels. But I WILL DO IT are four words you can start using more often as of this minute. Hey…the worst that can happen is you don’t get there. But by committing to doing rather than just trying, you are telling yourself there is a way. And now that your brain knows this is what you really want, you have a better chance of finding it. Trying just gives you an easy out from the very start.
Want: And finally, there’s want. I want to have my own business. I want to go back to school. I want a new job. I want a raise. All fine goals. It’s important to know what you want. But wanting alone is also just a state of mind with zero action attached to it. But if you COMMIT to what you want and start taking small steps to getting there, each action (as small as it may be) brings you closer. Your mindset is no longer a passive hopeful one; you are now (as scary as it may feel) committing through action to go after what you really want. And that will not only help get you there, it will teach you how to go after the next thing and the next.
So if you want…I mean if you choose to commit to cleaning up your act and giving your career a real boost, here are your new best friends:
- CHOOSE
- COMMIT
- DO
Oh…there are other great words to help you along the way, but for now these are a really good place to start. And remember to have patience and set small obtainable goals to get yourself going. Fear not…once you get the hang of it, the momentum will pick up. But meanwhile, you’ll have finally taken action to help move you forward toward your true career goals.
A few last thoughts: I guess this is as good a place as any to remind you that actions speak louder than words or mere hope. Although certainly hope and want can never be underestimated in their power to motivate, you still need to commit to your goals and take action steps to make things happen for yourself.
Even something as simple as a commitment to do the very best you can at whatever job you have right this moment (as imperfect as it may seem) helps build a work attitude that will help advance your career from that point on. It’s hard to get far with half-hearted efforts.
I know it sounds corny, but no step is too small and no journey too long if it’s what you really want.
Good luck!
Ronnie Ann
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New Work Coach Cafe Policy:
Although I had to stop answering individual questions (to preserve my sanity), as always your thoughts and stories are VERY welcome here.
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Here is a good way to use theses words.
: I (should) (try) to start my own business, and be my own boss.
:I (should) (try) not to be an employee, and make someone else rich.
: I will (do) what it takes to control my own future.
: Stay out of the rat race.
Hahahaha! I get your point, coollikeme. Not everyone wants to be part of what you call the rat race. Me included. I found a way that works well for me and, although you seem to have a MUCH higher tolerance for risk and unpredictable market fluctuations than I do, looks like you found a way that works for you. I wish you luck.
For anyone else who wants to be their own boss, I’d like to tweak your words just a bit to get rid of “should” and “try”:
* I WILL have my own business (however long it takes for me to get there).
* I WILL work to earn enough money to become independent of the rat race (if I want to) – or at least run on my own track.
* I commit to taking at least one step within the next month toward my dreams.
(-;
But whatever your dream is – and many of us actually like working for others – it still helps to get yourself into action mode (rather than feeling like a victim) if you want to advance to the point where you feel good about who you are at work and what you do.