So you’ve been at the job for a while and it’s finally time to find out what your boss really thinks of you. The door closes behind you as the air gets sucked out of the room. It’s just the two of you now.
And then it happens. Your boss says you aren’t pulling your weight. Or you didn’t take enough initiative on that last project. Or you’ve taken too many sick days. Or been late too often. Or the quality of your work is below par. Or simply you’re good…but not as good as you could be.
So how do you handle a bad review?
The most important thing you can do is enter that room with a willingness to hear what’s being said. I know it’s hard. It’s only natural to want to defend ourselves – especially if we feel that we’re being unfairly judged.
But the worst thing you can do is walk into the room ready for the fight. It’s a bad move. When you are in fight mode, you can’t hear the words as they are being said. And you might actually wind up hearing something useful for your own career – if you just listen.
I know that’s easier said than done. Whether you know it or not, even when we think we’re listening, we often have our internal filters going big time. Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear or the words get colored in away that reflects what we think the other person feels about us – or what we feel about them. Words that may be fairly harmless can come in and get processed in a way that turns them into big-time button-pushers. Oh yeah! You think I can do better? Well that’s what my mother used to say and I hated my mother! (Although usually the buttons aren’t that obvious.)
So more often than not, we’ve walked away from a bad review not having heard what was really said or having incorrectly interpreted the real meaning behind it. All the while interjecting lots of our own thoughts and associations into every word.
How to improve listening when we get work feedback
- Make a deal with yourself to listen from a place of knowing nothing and wanting to learn.
- Let your boss finish his thoughts before even trying to respond.
- Don’t run a script of automatic responses in your head while your boss is talking. While you’re doing that, you’re missing a lot of what is being said.
- Ask clarifying questions. (Allowing your boss to finish the point s/he is making, of course.) Rephrase what you think you heard so you can be sure you got it right.
- Show a willingness to listen by assuming a friendly, welcoming posture. You want your boss to know you’re willing to hear what s/he has to say. (If you keep your arms crossed in front of you, for example, it shows you are defending.)
What else should you do or say during the job review?
- Let your boss know you appreciate the constructive criticism (as hard as it is to say that).
- Discuss any points you think are unfair, but do so as calmly and intelligently as possible, making solid points for yourself by drawing on concrete examples – rather than simply saying it’s not true while looking all upset.
- Don’t bring up co-workers and point to how they are treated in comparison to you. It won’t help and makes you look like a cry-baby.
- Do calmly come up with things that you have improved on or accomplished over the last year that your boss may have forgotten to mention.
- Ask your boss for specific things you might work on over the next year.
- Make sure s/he knows you want to improve and are taking her/his words seriously.
- Thank her or him at the end, smiling, looking directly into her/his eyes, and shaking hands. You want to walk out with an air of positive strength and an honest commitment to improve. Even if not everything said feels fair, there’s always something you can work on. None of us is perfect.
Afterwards, send your boss a short e-mail note thanking her/him again for the constructive criticism and outlining the things you intend to do. Ask for any additional suggestions. This not only serves as a contract of sorts between you, but provides you written proof should there be more going on than just a less-than-glowing review.
A bad review can give you a chance to improve
It’s important to keep your perspective. I’ve known people who walk away devastated (and show it in their work attitude) just because the didn’t get “excellent” in every category. That’s way out of proportion and only hurting yourself.
But sometimes, a bad review is your boss’s way of putting you on notice that you better get your act together if you want to keep your job. If, during the review you get any sense that it might be the latter, then make sure you ask your boss directly whether you should be worried about losing your job. Better to know than not know.
But as I said, in most cases, bad reviews are just a wake-up call. The most important thing for you to look at is whether any of it came as a shock to you. If so, you might want to improve your office radar and also ask your boss for more regular meetings that help you know how s/he feels about your work. In fact, after a bad review, I’d make it a point to connect more regularly to discuss how things are going. And also, make sure your boss finds out about things you do well!
We all get bad reviews of some kind. So don’t feel bad!
I know one person who got a rotten review – so bad he felt like quitting – and he went around sulking and angry at everyone. But after we had a long talk, he stopped obsessing about everything he doesn’t get enough appreciation for (the list was long) and instead decided to take an approach that might actually do him some good. Whether he was right or wrong in fact, his way just wasn’t working.
So he sat down with his boss in a professional manner and sincerely acknowledged there was room for improvement – and that he would do whatever was necessary to the best of his ability. He also discussed some of the areas he wanted to get into that he hadn’t yet been given the opportunity to take on.
His boss was very happy about the improved attitude and willingness to change. They made a deal that if he buckled down and improved on his assigned tasks (and attitude) and did what the company needed from him, he would be given a chance to take on a some of the new things he really wanted. He did. They did. And he is now in a new role doing what he loves.
All he had to do was switch from his perpetual “they don’t appreciate me” mode to a new, improved “I am taking charge of my own career” mode. Plus, he moved himself out of “victim” mode by treating his boss as an ally and not an enemy. Ironically, the bad evaluation became the beginning pf his new career.
If you wind up getting one of those bad evaluations, try your best to let any resulting negative feelings go as soon as possible. See it as the beginning of the rest of your career – since it is. If you get stuck in being pissed off, you’ll only prove your boss’s point.
Instead, focus on what actions you can take now to show your boss – and yourself – how good you really are!
We usually have at least two choices: accept things as they are or change! Since you’re already at this job, it really does pay to give it another chance by seeing what you can do to make things better for yourself. You might surprise yourself.
But of course, if it’s really time for you to go…then see this as your ticket to something better. Sometimes when bad evaluations happen to good people it turns out to be a blessing. 
Good luck!
~ Ronnie Ann
I think your suggestions were very professional. However, it doesn’t apply to me as I am getting ready to retire in about 5 months and I’ve had good evaluations since I started my job 12 years ago. She is my third Director that I’ve worked with, and the most hostile. Everyone that works here comments on how unfriendly she is and how mean they have been treated by her. Since she arrived here 5 years ago I’ve felt disliked by her and thought it may be because she did not choose me as her Executive Assistant. During these past years I’ve tried to be friendly towards her, always saying good morning ____, have a nice weekend _____, or asking her if there’s anything I can do for her. I’ve even suggested meeting once per month so we can discuss any expectations she may have of me and she responded that she didn’t have the time. My first evaluation by her was good and then this year, nothing was said about my work or her expectations for the coming year, only things like I socialize at my desk too much and an Executive Secretary needs to be above that, I was accused of not saying hi or being friendly to her, and basically it was all about how she is treated. I’m a very approachable and friendly person and felt my evaluation was very contradictory. I am well-liked by the employees and always approach me for answers instead of the Director. I find it very hard to work with her because she only talks to those who meet her standards and every body else are low life’s. Also, she knows I will be leaving August 1, so I think by giving me an evaluation she knew I wouldn’t like, that she could push me out the door quicker.
Although I am sorry you’re going through this, I love comments like yours because they help fill out the picture of what’s really happening out there. There’s no way I can cover all the possibilities when I write a post or answer a comment. In your particular case, I’m glad you are about to say good-bye to the job and your current boss. Her evaluation of you has no lasting power since you’re retiring. Buh bye!
Now if you were at an earlier point in your career, after hearing all this I’d suggest being open to a new job. When you get a clunker boss, and after trying your best to make it work it still doesn’t, then a change of scenery is often the best option. In your case, you’re already planning the change most of us still dream about!
I wish you a marvelous retirement, Elva.
I just wanted to add how much it bugged me to read “I’ve even suggested meeting once per month so we can discuss any expectations she may have of me and she responded that she didn’t have the time.” Some companies use 360 reviews, meaning you get to review back. I wish you luck hanging in there and if it were me, I’d document all of this (just in case, for instance could be useful negotiating a package) and then do my best to stay until the date I deserve.
I wish you all the best, Elva.
Thanks so much for the great post. I just came off of the worst review of my life and the funny thing is I have had regular 1-on-1s with my manager and everything had seemed to be going well. The guy has recently stepped down as manager and I think I believe I know why (communication issues perhaps?).
Anyway, while I agree some of the stuff he wrote was true, I do not believe that he presented to me the information in a timely manner…waiting six months to tell me that I’m not doing well while each weekly meeting has been fine is a shocker!
I’m not sure what to do at this point. The guy is no longer my manager but still works in my group and is a respected IC. My new manager says I’ve basically got a couple of months to prove myself and he’s going to help by giving me specific things I need to accomplish and changes I need to make. The problem is I’m not really sure I feel like I want to stay at this point. I’ve been with the company for a little over a year and haven’t really meshed well with anyone. The work is uninspiring (writing code to test more code) but the reason I stay is because we were bought out a few months ago and I’m going to make an extra year’s salary for the next 3 years I work (work 3 years, get an extra year of pay for free due to vesting options). While it’s not a LOT of money, it’s still rather substantial and I’d kinda like to extract all of the value before I call it quits.
Any advice?
Hi Anon Geek!
Sorry for the delay. I just saw your comment. Sometimes our e-mail alert goes haywire. Ironic that this happened about tech work, no?
You wrote “While it’s not a LOT of money, it’s still rather substantial and I’d kinda like to extract all of the value before I call it quits.” This raises several thoughts for me. I hope you will permit me to share them, even if none of what I say rings true for you.
The word value has so many ways of being interpreted. If you don’t like the job (you call it uninspiring) and you don’t feel you match well with your environment or the people you work with, than the only value I see is the promise of that extra money, which even you say isn’t all that substantial. But there would be HUGE value in spending your days doing something that feels good and gets your juices flowing, rather than slogging through just to get a carrot that may never come. (I will address that point soon.) A different perspective may open some doors for you.
Real value could come by finding a new job that you actually feel good about! That value is priceless; it is your health and your mental well-being as well as your future career opportunities. (One door leads to another.) We are not enhanced by slogging. In a new job where you feel energized, you could move ahead to the point that the monetary gain you would have stayed for would be well-surpassed in about 5 years. By staying, you will only etch into yourself an attitude that you may not see, but potential employers will. Choices like this can shape your whole career. Shaking off the mismatched environment and moving on may be the wisest move, both from an emotional and monetary point of view.
But let me throw in one other factor. This poor performance review that seems to have come out of the blue may mean they don’t see you being with them the whole 3 years and therefore that extra bonus you are in effect selling your life for may never materialize! Before staying 3 whole years for that purpose, I would want you to make sure you have support from the new boss and a real sense that you are wanted there. (Finding a mentor would be a great idea if you choose to stay.) I like that your manager is willing to set goals so you aren’t shooting in the dark, but they may already have formed an opinion of you. In fact, your former manager may have simply reflected the opinion of others in his review and have been trying to help you see what you need to pay attention to.
Now, looking at it from yet another angle…you might choose to use this wake-up call as a chance to challenge yourself and wow them! Maybe there is a place for you there after all that would be good for you – as well as for whatever job you wind up in next. (By the way…I’ve worked in IT as a PM and good people move up to get more interesting assignments – but the secret is they also treat the less exciting assignments with the same thorough professionalism, good attitude, and enthusiasm as the more challenging ones.) Maybe they haven’t seen all that you could be yet. Maybe you know you have more to offer, but you need to find ways to show them just how much you can shine. If you choose this path, find allies. Ask your manager for more help. Be sincere and then give it your all! (This path can never be a losing one even if you later decide to leave. At the very least, it gets you good references!)
There’s no way, of course, that I can know the real circumstances and how they truly view you or what your ideal move would be. Only you can know that. Trust your instincts and not just your “logical” head. But if you feel the way you describe about your job, I am sure of one thing: you will be rewarded on many levels by choosing to either stay and do your very best (working with them in the most positive way you know how) or to find a job that feels better for you as soon as possible. I think the idea of just hanging in and staying for that bonus without you deciding to change things for yourself may only bring short-term gains and lots of continued dissatisfaction. (And again, you may never get to that bonus unless they decide you’re a “keeper”! Many companies weed out people before such deadlines to avoid paying the bonus. These are instituted to encourage good employees to stay; the others, unless they make the effort to show their worth, are expendable.)
I hope something I said has helped you think this through for yourself. Jobs are rarely perfect – but, if you are lucky enough to have options, please don’t settle for just “getting through each day”. I want so much more for you.
Good luck with whatever you do. Please let us know what happens!
Ronnie Ann
I have been in a job for 5 1/2 years. The first 4 years were great until a co-worker (who disliked me from day one) was promoted to supervisor. Getting work done and reaching decisions really don’t matter because it’ll all be wrong anyway. I have talked to her and she said she was trying to get rid of me. She gave me a need improvements standards. The job is boring but the pay/benefits/location are great. I have filed grievances against her but nobody wants to step up to the plat and demote and/or fire her. She is unprofessional, dresses like a hooker to work, talks like a 3 years old (we goin’ to wha meetin). Oh, it’s a state job – what can I expect from people who walk around saying I have 4 years, 2 days and one minute left to go. I’m searching for employment elsewhere while dealing with this boss. I suppose I’m a dead woman walking, there is no way out of these situations except to find another job or get your walking papers. She tells people whom to befriend and other clerical workers don’t talk to me because of it but she rates me bad for team work, I pray that God helps me make a decision because I don’t want to be without a job in today’s economy.
heeellpppp crap is rolling downstream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Sandra!
I just came home and it’s late and I’m exhausted. So please excuse this short response. Just want you to know I hear you and will respond at length tomorrow. So sorry you are going through this. Ugh. Meanwhile, let’s both hope for something good to come your way soon! I am a firm believer that openings appear when we need them. Hard part sometimes is recognizing them when they shows up.
More tomorrow! Sleep well, Sandra. There’s always a way.
Ronnie Ann
Hello again Sandra!
When I read stories like yours, I really wish I had a magic wand that could help. Since you’ve already tried speaking to your boss, and you also say even if you do your very best you still get the evil eye, then it looks like you are the only one with a magic wand that can help you right now – meaning you can find a way to help yourself. I’m glad you’ve already started that by looking for another job
To anyone just beginning in a job, this is a great reminder why you should make every effort to build allies over the years, not only in your department but in other parts of the company. And in other companies, just in case.
I had a friend in a similar situation in a government job, and when her new boss (who never even gave her a chance) decided to let her go, she went to her allies who stepped in and saved the day. But as in Sandra’s case, that may not be enough.
Although I don’t know all your circumstances, from what you tell me if I were in your situation I would step up my efforts to find a new job. And since you say “I pray that God helps me make a decision”, this may be a gift from heaven after all. A boring job day in and day out eats at your spirit and your health. But when there are good conditions, it’s so hard to leave. Maybe you can think of this as a chance to find something that you actually like!
I’m reminded of the famous story about a woman who was trapped by a flood and prayed to God. When a boat came she sent it away saying God would save her. Then a helicopter came begging her to climb up, but she said “No. God will save me. he always has.” And she stayed firm in her faith of that and she waited. Unfortunately, she died. When she got to heaven, she asked God why he didn’t save her. God said “I sent you a boat AND a helicopter!”
This may be your helicopter.
Again, this is just my opinion. Only you know your circumstances. But if it feels right to you, I would suggest making a strong effort to find yourself a job. That means not only applying to things you see posted, but contacting friends, past employers, and anyone you can think of and let them know you are looking for a job that you really care about. And don’t spend a lot of time telling folks about how awful everything is where you are. As valid as your complaints are, you’ll get further in a job hunt by being positive. Also look for places you’d like to work and send them a great cover letter and resume. (I have posts on that elsewhere on this blog.)
Meanwhile, hard as it may be, keep doing your best where you are. Be extra friendly to your boss and treat her as if everything is ok. That’s not about being phony. It’s about letting go of what’s not working and setting your mind and heart on your future new job that is going to be so much better. That positive energy will carry over into your day and when you meet people who might know of a job. Don’t let this boss keep your spirit from finding the helicopter waiting for you out there!
I’ve had a long lifetime of careers and have had horrible situations that moved me to find something else. Of course, I tried to make it work first, but sometimes you just can’t. And each time, as much as I might have hated giving up the good parts and as much as I might have cursed some of the people who made it horrible, I was always grateful that something happened to make me look for something even better.
Hope that helps even a little. Please let us know what happens.
I wish you much luck, Sandra.
Ronnie Ann
Hi,
thanks for this article it has helped me a lot. I’ve just started a new job and got a really bad review yesterday. It happened in front of two other colleagues and i felt shocked when it happened and completely devasted. I’ve worked with other companies before and have never been given bad reviews like this one. I don’t know what to do.
New Policy: I finally had to stop answering individual questions because, as traffic continued to increase, I was getting way too many to keep up with and stay sane.
Believe me, it was a tough decision to make, but my only other choice was to close down the blog completely – which I did for a while. But thoughts and advice from my readers are most welcome. I always wanted it to be a place where we help each other. So please feel free to add your comments or share your own stories!
With apologies to my readers…
Two years ago I was layed off after being with the company for ten years due to one bad review that my project manager of four months gave me. I was shocked ! Through all those years with the company my reviews were always good never had any problems . Make a long story short I’ve applied for few jobs with this company. yesterday I’ve received an email that because of this one lousy review I can’t apply for any jobs with the company. So here I am in shock again not knowing what my next step should be .
I read your comments and find them very interesting. Hope you are able to answer this.
I have worked for a company for 10 years and past 2 years I have been placed out of the loop completely especially by the new manager. Any project that comes up goes past me to my assistant and I admit the person is great. Can accomplish anything and is a great personality and likable. People just went. I was left out.
So I had feeling that writing on the wall and today received the meeting with HR that my manager sees my performance as not measuring up and not happy. Sorry I did not act wel so my have missed a great deal that was said but when they said that probably the poor performance was due to my cancer and they know I am there no matter what but if sick stay home! I blew! But then if I have been excluded and everybody avoids asking me to do anything how do I get back in. I do not think I can so I am hanging in as long as possible hopefully calmly. In this state being let go for just cause (poor performance) means you can not collect unemployment so as many paychecks as possible is needed. I did ask if job on the line but supposedly no but poor performance! They recommended training for my dept so good idea but when boss has been harping on recycling and making things work. In addition, I will work the extra hours every day, I come in early but boss wants us there after hours so will. More checks I get the better and benefits for the cancer great! Just wish I could get in the loop and prove that I can do some of the stuff, naybe not all but willing to learn and try!
Jackie,
First, let me say how sorry I am you are going through all this! I wish you much luck fighting and beating the cancer…and in making things at work better for you.
There’s too much I can’t understand about the details to answer you fully.
My first question is…are you fully aware of your rights under the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) and about how your job is required to make reasonable accommodations? If not, you might want to read HERE.
Second…sometimes it helps to sit calmly with the boss – make lots of apologies for your reaction (believe me…I probably would have blown my lid too
but unfortunately it just works against us in the workplace) – and ask for a few concrete steps so you can focus on these steps and show you are making progress. Let your boss know how much you appreciate the fresh start.
Most of all…have compassion for yourself. But also…get your resume together just in case. And look for local support resources through your care givers if that might help.
Sounds like you are battling way too much at once. Having a list that you can check off as you go along might help at least a little at work.
I wish you all the best, Jackie! We’re all rooting for you. ~ Ronnie Ann
Hi. I have found all these comments very interesting but they still don’t seem to help me get any where. Basically every job I have had sucks. The first job I liked but I got bullied out of it and my employer sacked me for gross misconduct. I won my case at a tribunal for unfair dismissal but had to face the fact that they were just trying to get rid of me. Since then I have been stuck in a series of demeaning jobs that only pay the minimum wage. I have tried to climb the ladder to get higher but all my employers did not want me to learn new skill or to know how to do things. I often get the blame for things other people have done and on pointing this out I am told “not to argue” and to accept that I am being blamed for what ever has happened. My confidence is being stripped away and I know I will probably never have a good job, for example I cannot drive. I have had over 85 lessons and cannot afford any more. I am 33 and feel like life is passing me by. It feels like I am always stuck in rubbish jobs with no prospects but just have to put up with it. Why does this keep happening to me or is it because I have just been that unfortunate that I have worked for really bad bosses?
Hi Ali!
First let me say how sorry I am to read all this. There’s no way for me to be able to answer your question based only on a comment. I wish there were. I do know jobs are a two-way street, but then again sometimes, as in dating, we keep picking the wrong ones.
When I read “all my employers did not want me to learn new skill or to know how to do things” this is so hard for me to understand. I’ve almost always been able to find new things to learn or take on. BUT I have had a boss or two that wanted it just their way. And that’s a bad boss.
Please don’t give up. Just make sure when you interview you look for jobs that want you to learn and grow. It’s ok to bring that up in an interview. Jobs like that are out there. Might also help to look at your resume again and see if there is anything you can do to aim yourself more toward employers who seek thinking employees.
There is a job out there for you, Ali. Sometimes it takes a while before a career gets going. Just think about what you can do to meet it halfway. And don’t forget the power of taking a course (you not only learn but make connections) or learning a new skill so well on your own that you become the go-to person.
Best of luck!
This is a well-written and wonderful piece. Really helped me today. I would like to share a link to this on my website.
Hi Margaret!
Comments like yours make my day. Thanks. Links that identify the site and only quote a paragraph or two at most are always welcome.
I wish you much luck in your career. And please know that what can’t be made to feel right for us today can be a great motivator to aim toward right – even if it takes a while.
problems have arisen in my work place concerning my supervisors. We recently had evaluations the past couple of weeks and I had my 90 day evaluation. As part of the process, the staff does a self evaluation and then the managers/supervisors evaluate it and go over it with each staff. On a scale from 1-5, one supervisor gave me all 3s and she had told me that since I’m new, I can’t be perfect.
The 2nd half was done by the 2nd supervisor. I had given myself 4s in a couple of areas and 2, 5s. My 2nd supervisor crossed out all of the 4s and put all 3s, which I think is unfair. She never justified the 3s and she all she stated in the employer comment section that she’s thankful for the help and that as a reminder, the managers are here to direct all concerns and questions that I may have. I find this unfair as I think that within this 90 day period, I would be considered a 4 in all areas and even a 5 in some areas. If I didn’t go above and beyond, I wouldn’t have accomplished coming in 6 (12 hour) nights in a row to cover the other staffer when she went on vacation. Furthermore, during my shift, she doesn’t address any concerns or assign any tasks, even when I offer and initiate that I would like to help out. Moreso, there is no room to hone your skills or really fulfill your responsibilities as she not only manages but does our tasks even if we’re ready and to do them. It’s agreed for that job that if more than one person does the job, it gets very confusing and a higher rate of mistakes can occur. I understand that people have different work dynamics but I don’t see how it’s fair to penalize an employee when the employee doesn’t have the opportunities to even do their own work based on interference.
It’s also not very pleasant that she offers me leftover old food to order new food to feed the rest of the staff during our meeting. I’ve already declined many times because the food isn’t healthy, it’s offensive, and it can affect my health.
I’m not very happy with the position as I think I’m trying my best and yet I get a poor evaluation and that it’s affecting my emotional and physical health. In the past, I’ve been handed director-level work because my supervisors knew my capabilities. I’m not sure how to approach this situation. Since it’s busy at work, I haven’t had the chance to ask to her justify her ratings but I plan to on Friday night. I’d like for her to change her evaluations but there is some element of fear of retaliation and also, their perspective of insubordination. This position was intentionally was supposed to be a stepping stone, as I am extremely over qualified for this position but with these evaluations, I don’t know where I could even transition to.
Do you have any recommendations as to how to approach this situation with the most tact and the least amount of awkwardness and retaliation as possible?
Hi Mia!
I guess by now you’ve had a talk with her. I hope it went well. The most effective way is usually to express yourself clearly and as calmly as possible to your supervisor – coming from a position of wanting to do better rather than blame (or asking her to “justify” her ratings), of course. Ask for her help along with some specific goals so you can see how you’re doing. In normal circumstances, at this point you’d bring up a few things that aren’t working for you – but not sure this is a person who would be open to that without retaliation. You have to trust your instincts here.
But from what you describe, to be honest I’d also have my resume out there big time! This does not seem like a good match – at least from what you write – and maybe it’s time to cut your losses if at all possible.
Good luck!
I am a student and just finished a summer internship. It was a dream job…the company I had my eyes set on since day one! I received several compliments on my performance while I was there, and really meshed well with the department. They even threw me a going away party (even though I was only there 4 months), and offered an extension on my term.
I worked extremely hard, trying to learn all aspects of a complex job in a short time, and had my hands on every project that came through the office the entire summer. Midway through the term I was completing all of the reports in the office (of 10 people), and leaving them in a neat package for them to just sign off. My name never appeared on any of these reports, for accountability purposes, I was told.
Although I tried to convey my efforts to the manager, I don’t think he really had any idea of the type of work I was capable of. He was always too busy to deal with me, and when I asked him driectly for assignments he basically used me to send confrontational emails, or run the photocopier.
I submitted my student evaluation forms to be completed mid August, and was told that they would be completed and emailed to me shortly. As part of my schooling requirements, the forms needed to be submitted to the school by tomorrow (Oct 6). Within the last month, I sent two emails to and phoned the manager twice, with no response. I asked co-workers (who did respond) if they could have the manager contact me regarding the forms, and stated the urgency of my request. “He just about bit my head off when I mentioned your paperwork”, is the email message I received from a co-worker yesterday.
Today I received a student evaluation form with satisfactory ticked in every box.
I don’t know what went wrong. I’m not sure if he thinks I only did a satisfactory job, since I never really reported to him, or if he was annoyed with the paperwork. I don’t think I was unreasonable in trying to track down the paperwork, but I can’t really think of another explanation. The guy offered me a job, and then a reference (after I declined) 6 weeks ago.
On top of killing my GPA (I have never received a grade below 90 before this), this makes me look bad. This is a very sought after internship, and my professors will think I half-assed it. And what are my chances going to be like to return to this company if they think I am a ‘satisfactory employee’!
What should I do? If anything.
Hi Angela!
I’ve been thinking a lot about your situation. While I understand how absolutely frustrating this is for you, perhaps my own experience will help answer your question.
I was a top student in high school, but when I got to college I focused only on the courses I loved, and got some incredibly bad grades in the other courses as a result – along with As in the courses I cared about.
While I don’t recommend this approach for other people, let me tell you that it hasn’t stopped me from getting into top companies and having an exciting and successful career.
No one that matters will care about that “satisfactory” other than you. Shake it off and let it go (good practice for your career which even if ultra successful will have lows) and focus on how to sell your strengths – of which there seem to be many. You can perhaps even get recommendations on your LinkedIn profile from that very company (and other people who know you) and use the things you did on your resume (and when you interview) where it really counts – making it into a big win. It’s not the individual details, but the whole package.
As for working there, the satisfactory is not your problem. It’s mostly the relationships you built and how you are perceived by folks you actually worked with that matter. Maybe…just maybe…by making such a big thing of this (in their eyes) and annoying the boss – even if you were absolutely right in pursuing what you needed – you may have done yourself more harm than good. Perhaps in hindsight there was a better way to approach it, but that’s for you to know. Always good to try to see it from their side.
BUT…turning him down may also have been the issue. You can’t control how people react. Maybe also reflects on the company. For you to do so much and not get outright credit…well, I’d think twice before going back there anyway.
So if it were me (strange as this may seem to you now), I’d write the manager a nice warm note thanking him for the experience of working there, letting him know how much you enjoyed it and how much you learned. Keep it short and use it to leave a great last impression. You might even mention that you apologize for bugging him, but only if you still might want to go back there; that’s your call. If it works…great. If not…a lesson learned. For the sake of references and since you never know who you’ll run into again down the road, good to leave on the best note possible.
In any event, this grade will not hurt your career. It’s all in your hands now.
Best of luck, Angela!
Ronnie Ann,
Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been working so hard at my job only to receive some poor feedback in some of the areas where I feel are my strengths. I hate to admit this, but I’ve had a bad attitude for about a month after discovering that my mother almost died and doesn’t have much time left. This happened one month after I had two other friends pass away.
I am a 28-yr old recent grad, and I admit that I have a lot to learn and a lot of maturing yet to do, but I’ve had troubles keeping my personal life out of my job. My boss finally talked to me because of my on-going attitude. I was crushed to hear the news, but I’ve since then decided to turn off the pissed-off mode to “kill em with kindess” mode (it kills me at times due to how much my supervisor criticizes me – bad kind). I’ll try with all of my strength to not let this eval get me down despite all of the stuff I have faced while at my new job.
Ashlee
Good luck with the new attitude, Ashlee. If it helps to know this, I spent many years learning how to keep my personal life and bad attitude out of the workplace. But once you learn how, it gets easier all the time. And then you have more time and energy to focus on doing a good job and hopefully enjoying the work!
Thing is…I don’t want anyone to think this means you should let anyone treat you badly on an ongoing basis. Yes…check to see how much you’re contributing to it. And then check again to make sure.
As for honest feedback and be open to seeing where you can improve, looking for ways to shine where possible.
BUT…if any of you are truly being treated unfairly, there is a short-term and long-term benefit to standing up for yourself, Start by asking for specific feedback and making sure your managers know when you have done well. And if it reaches a point where you are sucking in your emotions all the time and in effect becoming a door mat, then (1) find a good counselor; and (2) find a new job!
Well, my supervisor could no longer hold in their grudge towards me and reported me once again for something I had no control over. They reported the incident to my boss and only I was blamed for it (my co-worker who works in the same room was not reported). Since my boss really enjoys having me around, they gave me the option to either resign or to be reported to higher authority with the high risk of termination. As of next Friday, I am out of a job I absolutely LOVE! I just hate being micromanaged and judged for everything I do incorrectly rather than the things I do correctly. While it’s extremely depressing for me at the moment (being the first job in which I was forced to resign or risk being fired), I’m hoping this is for the better.
Well, the good news is that you found a job that you LOVE doing, and that you were able to resign rather than being fired. The bad news is that you’ll be out of a job shortly. That is tough, but it is also definitely survivable!
Before you leave, ask the boss who enjoys having you around for a written recommendation for you to use in the future, and ask if you would be able to use him or her as a reference for your new job search. It’s good to have someone at the old job who can vouch for you and your work.
Also ask if he/she knows a place where you could do similar work, and if he/she knows anyone there you could talk to about a new job. Maybe you’ll get an inside track to a new job. A long shot, perhaps, but worth a try.
Then, do your best to get rid of the anger and hurt so it doesn’t sabotage your job search. Write it all down, cry in the shower, complain to your family and/or non-work friends or whatever works for you. Dump as much of the hurt and anger as you can.
Then, put together your version of what happened. Because you will be asked why you left – everyone is usually asked that question when they interview for a new job. Write it down (and cross out all the names and the bad words), and practice saying it out loud so that you don’t stumble over it.
Your answer will probably be something along the lines of “I had bad chemistry with a supervisor. In the end, it just was not a pleasant place for me to work, so the best option for me was to leave. I learned a lot from the experience, and I don’t plan to repeat it.” All true! Don’t go into any details! Don’t trash your former employer or your coworkers, no matter how tempting it may feel!
Job-Hunt.org’s Job Search Mindset Expert, Harry Urschel, wrote an article that should help you understand how to present this situation in your next interview – How Employers Hear Your True Stories. It’s worth reading, and I think it will help you understand how to manage your response in this situation.
In your new job search, you will be much more careful about the potential work situation and your new co-workers. So, you HAVE learned a lot from this situation, painful as it has been. And, you will probably be happier in your next job.
Good luck!
Cheers!
Susan
Work Coach Cafe Team Captain