Boss from Hell: The Controlinator

I knew a boss-from-hell who was ironically known as a saint to the outside world. His smiling, benevolent face was the one everyone saw. Everyone except his employees.

“Carl” ran a non-profit organization dedicated to helping homeless families. He had a lap-dog Board of Directors that just loved him and would back whatever move he wanted to make. The organization itself had some wonderful programs and helped a lot of people. I have to give him credit for that.

But one of the things I find most unforgivable is when bosses – especially non-profit bosses – see their soul-saving mission as a get-out-of-jail-free card to treat workers in any way needed to make their goals come to life. What makes the employees any less deserving of respect and kindness than the clients being helped? Don’t they matter?

In Carl’s case, he had to control every tiny detail of what went on, trusting no one to do things “right” without his help. How could they anyway, since he was the judge? But most of the time when he found mistakes he couldn’t tell staff to their face, so he waited until about 11pm when he started writing his notorious killer e-mails, telling anyone who had in some way transgressed that day what they’d done wrong. Employees lived in dread of getting these poisonous communications from their boss.

And yet the next day, Carl would come in all smiles, presenting that positive “can do” attitude to his Board members, staff and clients. But his staff were cringing over the e-mails that were rarely pleasant and rarely made them feel good about themselves or their work. And these nasty-grams were the first thing that greeted them in the morning.

Not that there weren’t the occasions when Carl would call someone into his office to tell them in person just how badly they were doing. That was usually the day they were fired. Not surprising, the place had a huge turnover rate, aided by Carl’s fire-happy trigger finger. As you can imagine, that left a lot of people afraid of being next.

So he ruled with fear and negative feedback – and ultimate power, since the removed-from-reality Board would never believe the complaints of the staff. How could they? Carl was a saint. Look at the good work he did.

Most frustrating to the staff was that the appearance of what went on looked nothing like it really was for them. Oh…Carl talked a good game about inclusive management. In fact he used to have weekly open meetings, encouraging staff to share any of their problems or ideas. Of course, they always suspected a trap and therefore almost never spoke about things that really mattered to them – knowing from experience what would happen if they actually mouthed off in public.

But the almost unbelievable thing is that he used to send his staff to special “awareness/personal growth” classes to help THEM be better people. (These classes were controversial since they were associated with a well-known rules-based program that uses thought-shaping techniques.) And while no one was required to take the class, amazingly anyone who didn’t was later let go for some reason or another. But then again, almost everyone was eventually.

Employees felt oppressed by Carl’s methods and spent a lot of their day worrying about what he might do next. All the while, they were providing important services to clients who needed their help. But the toll on the employees themselves was too much.

Here’s the deal. Normally, Work Coach offers advice about how to work within a particular situation to get the most you can out of your job – and hopefully help make things better. Many bosses, as awful as they are, can be worked with in some way. In most cases, you can learn to manage up or find niches of safety or even learn to let go of some of the things that bug you by changing your own attitude and/or perspective. These are all useful ways of helping make your work life more pleasant – especially when you have a horrible boss.

But with a Controlinator like Carl, you can’t win. The combination of obsessively punishing and absolute control is just a formula for workplace disaster. Sure…goals get met and clients get helped – but at the unforgivable cost of good people who really care.

If you work for a boss like this, I suggest you do your best to get out ASAP. The longer you take it, the less you’ll trust in your own ability and the more stressed you’ll feel. After a while, your health and mental well-being will show signs of sustained abuse. You’ll feel beaten down and it often gets harder and harder to see yourself capable of getting work elsewhere – even though you have lots to offer a different employer. A lot of Carl’s staff reached this point.

If you find yourself in a situation like this, please know that no matter how good you feel about the work you’re doing, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS. It might take some time to find that next job, but don’t let that stop you. You’ll be a LOT happier.

Best yet, try to avoid working for someone like Carl in the first place. Mission-driven zealots can sometimes fall into this trap to some extent or another, although luckily there are many good ones – and not too many that take it to the extremes Carl did.

Just know the Controlinator is out there and be cautiously aware of wolves in saint’s clothing. If possible, do your homework and find out what’s it’s really like to work for the person. And if you get a funny feeling during the interview process or from what you find out, run don’t walk in the other direction!