Dear Work Coach,
I am currently unemployed but have a 2nd interview for a job. I also have a friend coming to visit me from overseas in 10 days for 2 weeks. Would I completely kill my chances of being hired by telling my potential employer (who knows I am not currently working) that I can either not start for a few weeks or that I need some time off just after starting my new role? As this friend is coming quite soon, I don’t feel it’s something I could mention right after being hired either. How do you handle these pre-arranged life engagements while interviewing for jobs?
Thanks,
J
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Hi J!
Good question. You’re smart to think this through, since things like this can leave a very bad impression unless handled correctly. The good news is, depending on the type of job, they may actually have allowed for flexibility as to when the job starts because an employer understands that most people have a real life and other obligations. Of course, if this is a job where they need coverage immediately, then that answers your question.
Your best bet is to go through the entire interview process and see if you get the job offer. When they bring up the start date, if they tell you there is an absolute date with no give – then again, you have your answer. But if they ask you when you can start, that’s the time to ask if it’s ok to start the day after your friend leaves. No need to tell them the details — just tell them you have prior personal commitments that you’d really like to take care of if at all possible. If they say they need you earlier but sound fairly friendly about the whole thing, you might try asking nicely if there is any way you could have a couple of days off or maybe leave early on some days to take care of those prior commitments. (Asking for the whole two weeks after starting probably would be a deal breaker – and if not, it could start you off in a very bad light. I’d stay away from that one if I were you.)
If you really want this job and they need you to start before your friend leaves, then be prepared to spend time with your friend during non-work hours and just chalk it up to bad timing. I know that sucks, but these things happen. If it’s a good job, do what you can to start off on the right foot.
Of course, you may not want to work for a boss/company that shows absolutely no flexibility and reacts badly to your even mentioning your needs, so pay particular attention to how they react. As long as you’ve asked politely and shown that you are flexible, a good employer should at least respond in kind – even if their answer is “no”.
Everyone has a personal life and may have some loose ends to tie up before starting a new job. On that point, I found this on a blog called Overpronator:
Everyone has a personal life that exists separately from their job. You can’t schedule your cousin’s bar mitzvah around a product launch, and you can’t clear your calendar before you take a new job.
So when you’re figuring out which job to take, be upfront about what sort of time you expect to be taking for yourself. If you want Tuesdays off for kickboxing class, then say so. If you have a vacation planned for two weeks after the proposed start date, then say that. Some jobs have unmovable start dates, and sometimes your personal life will preclude taking a job.
That’s OK. Why bother with the absurd job-interview song-and-dance where you pretend that your personal life doesn’t matter, and that only getting the job matters? You wouldn’t want to work for anyone who had that attitude, so why pretend to have it yourself?
But assuming you like the job and the people and yet they can’t accommodate any of your requests, you probably want to play it smart and just go ahead and meet their start date. There are often good business reasons why an employer needs you to start sooner than you’d like…if that’s the case here, show them you’re a team player and come in 100% committed to doing the best job you can. Don’t feel like you’ve lost anything – you’ve gained a job and a new adventure that can lead anywhere!
Good luck getting the offer and good luck working this all out.
Ronnie Ann
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Note: I’m one of the columnists on the Q&A site Job Lounge and will be sharing those posts like this one here on my Work Coach blog.
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New Work Coach Cafe Policy:
Although I had to stop answering individual questions (to preserve my sanity), as always your thoughts and stories are VERY welcome here.
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please i’m struggling to write a letter to my boss asking him to let me do my other which’s a new job to me and a better pay, my current job with him it is only part-time working for him for nearly 6 years. Now that i have a new job starting soon, he is trying to make it difficult for me not to co-operate to let me take some time off because the new is so important and better pay and he know that even i told i want leave if you help me not to work for you certain days.
can send semple letters to me please
kind regards,
zino
Sorry zino.
I don’t create sample letters for my readers. If I did, I’d never get to leave the computer!
And to be honest, I don’t quite understand your situation. If he doesn’t respond to a one-to-one meeting with you respectfully asking for what you need, then I am not sure a letter will help. If there is a human resources person there, maybe he or she can help you? In any event, I wish you much luck getting to the new job.
Hi!
I am currently working full time and have been just offered another full time job… I would like to accept tis new job and continue my current job as a part-time position. My new employer is asking for a P45 otherwise I will pay more tax in this job… How can I avoid this happening?
Hi Sachin!
Unfortunately this is not an area I know anything about. I never even heard of a P45. Sorry I can’t help.
I wish you much luck figuring this out and making the best decision for yourself!
So i’m starting a new job at an airline, an they are usually pretty strict about attendance and such, I did the interview already and i got the job but i failed to mention of a travel arrangement i already have a month from now. How should i go about with talking to a manager about the situation?
Hi Joe!
Actually, this is something to mention in a final interview or when accepting. Contact them as soon as possible. Employers don’t like surprises like this especially if they’re counting on you. Best to think ahead of time what you will say if they say you can’t go. I hope that doesn’t happen, but I’ve seen cases where it does. Good luck making it all work out for you!
So, I just started this new job, and I was wondering how long should you be working for someone before ask for time off?
I would like to go to a friends for new years and I would be taking 4 days off.
What should I do??
Hi Christina!
First…congratulations on the new job!
As for your question about asking for time off, there’s no general answer. Some companies have formal policies in their handbooks, often saying you can’t have paid days off until you’ve worked a certain amount of time. Others, keep it informal and decide on a case by case basis. You haven’t been there long, so please know they might say “no”. Also they might say “yes” but with no pay. This is not unusual.
On the other hand, they might be totally ok with it, advancing you some vacation days if you haven’t earned any yet – especially if they feel like things will work out. All you can do is ask politely, knowing they are totally within their rights to say “no”. If that’s the answer, be ready to go with it, ok? A good job is worth hanging in for.
Good luck!
Hi,
I have landed a new job but don’t start for 4 weeks. I also have made plans to go to a wedding overseas in September. My son is the page boy. We will be going for 11 working days. I want to know how to ask/tell my new boss about the trip. I didn’t mention it in the interviews or acceptance correspondence as I didn’t think of it until now. Should I email and ask before I start or should I wait till I start work. It isn’t untill 6 months after starting.
Hi Scarlett,
Tough call, but I think it would probably be worse to wait until after you start to bring this up.
Before I let them know, I would see if I could figure out a way to be gone for fewer than 11 working days. That’s a very long time to be gone from a new job, close to half a month if this is a typical 5-days-a-week job. For most employers in the USA, 11 days are more days off than the average employee earns the first year, and many employers would be reluctant to give the whole vacation period to someone who hadn’t been there a year yet.
Assuming you know the vacation benefits for the new job and that you will have earned a few days of vacation by the time you need to leave, I would offer to take some/most/all of those days off without pay.
Good luck with this!
Susan
Hello, i could use some help, I have a job interview tomorrow and the employer already loves me,
we have spoke on the phone a few times and emailed about he job vacancy, The vacancy is an
immediate start (not sure if this means next day) but i have 5 hospital appointments the week after the interview & im worried if they do want me to start the next day i won’t be able to and this will cost me the job? I am really worried please could you help
Hi Kim,
Most employers do not expect the job seeker to start immediately. Explain that you have some long-standing appointments that you must keep this week, and cannot start until next week. You do not need to explain what those appointments are for. He should understand and be flexible about your start date.
Good luck!
Susan
Hello!! I was wondering if you could help me with something!
I just had a job interview, and while it may be presumptuous of me, I really feel like I nailed it. With that being said, I am trying to plan out the future for this position. You’ll see why..
It is 4/12/2012. I am getting married/honeymooning from 5/12-5/18. They don’t have a definite start date, but she said it would likely be around 4/30.. Now, if I received an offer, before I accept it, should I mention that I would need those dates off? I am thinking if I warn them in advance before I accept, they might be more accommodating. I did not mention this in the interview, because I didn’t want it to ruin my chances. I feel like since they aren’t sure when the position will start, they might allow a big thing such as a wedding slide? Any suggestions on how to go about telling them if/when (I am hopeful) I get an offer? Thank you so much!!
Hi Rae,
I think you are right to let them know before you accept their offer, so they don’t feel like you hid something important from them. And, of course, make it clear to them that you do not expect to be paid for that week away from the job.
If you can afford it, consider the possibility of starting the job after you return from your honeymoon. It could be a bit awkward to have just a couple of weeks on the job (the last 2 weeks before your wedding, no less) before disappearing for a week. You might not be able to give your full attention to your new job with all the “wedding stuff” going on in the background, and that wouldn’t be good for you or for them.
And then all the “official paperwork” for the IRS, etc. would have your new name (if you are changing your name when you get married), eliminating the need for more paperwork to update everything with your new name.
Let’s hope that you have this “problem” to resolve! That would be excellent!
Good luck!
Susan
Hi Susan,
The recruiter called me and asked how the interview went, and if I would accept the position after having the interview and meeting with my potential managers. I figured it would be a great time to bring up the days off that I needed, and luckily for me, they were VERY understanding. I just got a call today to let me know they want to offer me the position and I should be getting the written offer in the mail tomorrow.
THANK you for your advice! I now feel comfortable and am happy they are aware of the situation beforehand so I don’t seem like I am keeping anything from them just to get that offer. I feel very relieved, so thank you again for your help!
Rae
CONGRATULATIONS, Rae! That’s wonderful news! Thank you for sharing it with us.
Hope all goes well in your new job!
Good luck!
Susan
Hi!
Please help!! My situation is that I live in Puert Rico and went to an interview in united states. the job interview was very quick, it literally lasted a minute and a half, I had to rush thru my conversation and I couldn’t ask them much about anything. I got the job and I will start in 2 weeks, however I will need 3 days off in a month after start date. How should I handle this? Call or email and how to approach them.
Thanks!
Hi Alice,
I think that this kind of situation is better handled over the phone, rather than email. Particularly when people don’t know each other well, the “tone” of the email is easily misinterpreted. When you have a voice on the other end (for both parties), it’s much easier to pick up clues about how things are intended and also how they are received.
Think about what you want to say in advance. Maybe write it down, and say it out loud a couple of times. You don’t want to sound like you are reading something but you do want to be sure to say everything that you need to say and say it correctly.
Good luck!
Susan
Thank you! Will do
I’m a university student, currently looking for a summer job, and I have a question about asking for time off. While I’ve not heard back from any locations as of yet, if the opportunity arises for an interview, I’m wondering when would be the best time to tell my potential boss that I will be traveling this summer for school? I will be attending a field school overseas from July 24-August 30. Since that’s such a huge amount of time and during the tourist season, I was wondering when would be the best time to mention this to a potential employer? Is this something I should include in my cover letter/resume? Should I mention it in the first interview? Or wait until an offer for a job is extended? No one can seem to give me a direct answer so I’d appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance!
Jill,
This is such a large block of time — that I think you should address it by applying for summer jobs that have — or will accept — a definitive start and end date. Be upfront with employers and let them know your availability at the outset. Given that you will be away for five weeks and that it is a summer job to begin with, it doesn’t make sense for an employer to train you and then have someone else take your place while you are gone.
Instead, I recommend you seek out applications for listings that are listed as temporary with a definitive end date — or call first and make contact with every employer you are applying to. When you have a conversation, you begin the process of becoming known to an employer. And getting known is what helps you get hired.
Good luck!
Chandlee